Danny Phantom meet's Jerry Springer remake
by Kixen
Summary: A collection of mostly crack pairings and maybe a few canons in Danny Phantom placed on the Jerry Springer show. Some chapters will be redone due to error checking and other reasons. Rated T. Don't like don't read.
1. unfaithful partners

I don't own Danny phantom or any of the character in this. They are doing life for their original owners without the chance of parole. Enjoy Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer.

Set of the Jerry Springer show

"Welcome to the show everyone. Today's show will not have one theme other than having skeletons in their closets. Please Meet Dash Baxter. Dash says that his relationship with his girlfriend has hit rock bottom." Jerry said in a normal tone.

"First Jerry I like to say I am a big fan of your show. Hi mom, hi dad" Dash said with a smile.

"Well you have good taste but let get on with your story." Jerry said wanting to get to the point.

"Yeah I have dated my girlfriend Ashley for about four months now. At first things were going great with her, but now she has become every Nagy. She doesn't make me the sandwiches I as for anymore, She has stopped doing all the things I like, and I brought her here to find out why." Dash said.

"Ok Ashley has been watching backstage so she knows how you feel so let bring her out!" Jerry said as the crowd chanted his name.

Ashley then came out on stage. She was a African-American girl with raven colored hair and a mole on her right cheek. She was wearing a pink shirt that show off a good deal of cleavage, and a matching skirt that was cut real low enough to show part of her pink panties. Lastly she wore high heels that match her outfit.

"Dash I have come here to come out of the closet. I have cheated on you for the past 3 months." Ashley said with passion.

"But why Ashley? I haven't wronged you in any way. What did I do to deserve this?" Dash asked feeling the pain of betrayal.

"You don't have a job to help me with the bills, You don't clean up after yourself, and lastly you are lousy in bed. Even the cats in the alley below our apartment can go longer then you when they are doing each other!" Ashley hissed.

"So who are you cheating on me with? I will clean his clock!" Dash said with fury.

"Ok we will bring him out after our break!" Jerry said as they went off the air to air advertisements.

A house inside of Amity.

"Hey Jazz, Dash is on the Jerry Springer show. It seems his girlfriend is cheating on him." Danny said to his older sister.

Danny now 20 years old lived with his older sister Jazz. Danny developed the muscle, and gained the height that his evil older self had as well as the facial hair. He was now wearing a white muscle shirt, and blue shorts.

"Danny you know I don't care for that trashy Jerry Springer show. That show is not only degrading, but it causes people expose themselves to get beads. Besides that, you need to get ready for college little brother. There is no way I am going to support a slacker!" Jazz said in an uninterested tone.

Jazz like her brother had done some serious developing over the years. She while she was 3 inches shorter than her brother she had developed all the curves her mother had. Her hair was still in its signature hairstyle with her blue headband. However her clothes had changed. She now wore a white business suit and was preparing to go to work until Danny stopped her.

"Ah Jazz, I don't want to stop you, but isn't that your boyfriend on the stage of the Jerry Springer show?" Danny asked.

Jazz then looked at the TV, and when she saw her boyfriend kissing Ashley she saw red.

"When he get back here I will kill him!" Jazz screeched.

The set of the Jerry Springer show

"Oh let bring out Ashley's lover come on out!" Jerry said and the man came out on the stage.

"You are cheating on me with Mikey? Oh that is it he is so going to get it!" Dash said with rage and we went charging towards Mikey like an angry bull.

Mikey was still nerdy like he was in high school, however he grew a whole 15 inches taller putting him at the height of 5 foot 8. His acne had cleared up leaving his face flawless as Paulina's skin. Dash was about to pile drive Mikey when one of the security guards stopped him.

"Mikey how could you do this? Why do you go after my girlfriend?" Dash screamed in rage.

"Two reasons. I always had a crush on Ashley, and I wanted to get you back for all the mean stuff you did to me in high school." Mikey answered with a smile on his face.

"He is a gentleman as well Dash. He listens to me, he has a job making over 100,000 a year, and best of all he always gets me off in the bedroom!" Ashley said with a smile on her face.

"Ashley I am sorry for all the bad stuff I have done to make things harder for you. I can change, I will even do that thing you like so much in bed." Dash said in a pleading tone.

"No way Dash, Mikey does that for me 5 times better than you can. Unlike you he can actually make me squirt. I am leaving with Mikey today good-bye Dash." Ashley said without remorse.

Danny and Jazz's house

"Jazz If you want I can take you to Jerry Springer show. I do have tickets, and if I show up as the ghost boy they will be glad to let me in even though we are late." Danny said.

"Thanks Little bro, but I think I would rather take care of him off camera." Jazz said cracking her knuckles.

"Ok I will go myself, and I will get you some Jerry beads." Danny said with a mischievous smile.

"On second thought, I will come with you as long as you promise not to do that." Jazz said falling into her brothers trap.

Danny then grabbed is little sister, and flew as fast as he could to the set of the Jerry Springer show. When Danny got there he was then greeted by the staff of the show as well as his sister.

"The world Famous Danny Phantom is here? What bring you here." One of the staff members asked.

"Danny came here for me. That guy Ashley is cheating on Dash with is my boyfriend! I want to confront him!" Jazz hissed.

"No Problem Just go behind that door and wait for the red light to come on. When it does push that button and when the light turns green walk on out." The head producer said. Danny Phantom, you can just take a seat where ever you would like." The head producer said.

"Thanks see you in the audience even if you don't see me." Danny said as he made himself invisible and went into the audience.

Meanwhile on the set

"Ashley there is something I need to tell you. Even though I had a lot of fun with you these past few months, I have a girlfriend as well. I didn't call her to be on the show either." Mikey said surprising Ashley.

"You have a girlfriend? No matter whoever she is when I meet her I will kick her ass! I want you, and I won't let her have you!" Ashley said just as everyone on the set heard a doorbell.

"Oh it seems someone is here to see you Mikey let bring them out." Jerry said just as the door opened and to everyone surprise Mikey's girlfriend was on the other side.

"Jazz what are you doing here? I never told you that I was coming here." Mikey said scared.

"I know what is going on Mikey, and if you want Ashley you can have her I have no interest fighting for a worm, when I could have anyone in this audience!" Jazz said as most of the audience cheered.

"You ain't worth anything bitch!" Ashley said as she went in charging at Jazz. Security caught her in time just before she could reach Jazz, but sadly Dash decided to go round two when he heard the fight bell.

Dash got past security easy, and proceeded to wail on Mikey until the security in the audience went in to break them apart. By the time they were done, Mikey shirt was torn to shreds, and he had several bruises on him.

"So what you and Dash had is over now Ashley?" Jerry asked wanting to know her answer.

"Yes it is Jerry I would rather much have nerd with endurance then the jock who is a flop." Ashley said without the least bit of remorse.

"I am sorry Ashley, but as much fun as I had with you, I love Jazz, and I would do anything to get her back." Mikey said causing Ashley to go into a rage.

"I thought you loved me you little worm, and now you are going to play me for the girl who never had friends!" Ashley hissed in anger.

"Mikey my advice to you would be to stay with her, because I don't want you. I deserve far better than a boy who can't keep his dick in his pants. It is a good thing I didn't sleep with you." Jazz said.

"So before we wrap this segment up. Let me make sure everything is clear. Ashley you and Dash are through right?" Jerry asked for confirmation.

"You got that right Jerry." Ashley said.

"Jazz you are done with Mikey and will don't want him back right?" Jerry asked.

"Correct Jerry." Jazz said with annoyance.

"Mikey who are you leaving with? Are you going to leave with Ashley who wants you, or will you try to get back Jazz who doesn't seem to want you?" Jerry asked.

"Better someone then no one. Ashley I am leaving with." Mikey said thinking with his mini self.

"We will be back" Jerry said ending the Segment.

Stage out.

So ends Part one of Danny Phantom meets Jerry springer. I deleted the original fanfiction of this and I am rewriting a few things with this one. Some of the chapter will be redone for error fixing and other reasons. R and R people.


	2. Bertrent comes out of the closet

I don't own Danny Phantom or the cast of Jerry springer. The DP characters are doing a life sentence to their owners without the chance of parole. The Jerry Springer cast owns themselves. Enjoy Part two of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer.

Set Of Jerry Springer

"Welcome Our guests today are coming out the closet with their secrets Please meet Bertrand. Bertrand says he has more secrets than anyone knows." Jerry said in his normal tone.

"Hey Jerry if you don't know I am a ghos.t" Bertrand said causing everyone to chant.

"We love ghosts! We love ghosts! We love ghosts!" The audience chanted making Bertrand smile.

"Now I have come to let my girlfriend Penelope know a secret about me." Bertrand said.

"What is your secret?" Jerry asked trying to get the info for the audience.

"I was born a woman." Bertrand said causing the audience to gasp in shock.

"Woah, that was something I didn't see coming." Danny said holding his hand over his mouth.

"You are telling me, if he was born a woman how did I banishing him with my kiss?" Kitty asked Danny in shock.

"So did you have an operation to completely change your gender?" Jerry asked also astonished at this piece of information.

"No my ghost powers can do more for me than just change my shape. With them I can also change my gender if I want." Bertrand said changing to his original gender for a second and the changed back to his male form.

"Ok we had Penelope on the back stage so she doesn't know anything about this so let's bring her out Here is Penelope Spectra!" Jerry said as the crowd cheered.

Penelope came out wearing her usual red suit with matching heels and black shades. Penelope at this point walked up to Jerry making sure to add sway to her hips.

"Hey Jerry, how about after the show I take you in for one of my sessions?" Penelope said while winking.

"Maybe we will see. Bertrand tell her want you need to tell her." Jerry replied in his normal tone.

"Penelope, I have always love you, But before I can ask you to marry me, I need to let you know I was born as a woman." Bertrand said waiting for Penelope's reaction.

"Ok how is that possible? I know you can shape shift, but it is impossible to change your gender. Besides if you were a woman, Kitty's kiss wouldn't have banished you." Penelope said in the same astonished tone that was heard before.

"Well unlike Amorpho who can only look like the opposite sex, I shape shift my DNA down to my XX strand and change it to XY. But seriously I was born a woman." Bertrent explained hoping for the best.

"Well I have one thing to say and to do. First off are there any real men out there who want a real woman?" Penelope said causing the audience to cheer except for Danny and Kitty.

"You are leaving me why? Just because I was born a woman? I thought you loved me." Bertrent said feeling her heart break.

"You lied to me for all this time! It wouldn't have been so bad if you told me the truth in the beginning, but you lied to me! Now you are going to get it!" Penelope said as she summoned her energy and grabbed Bertrand.

"Ghost security come on out now!" Jerry shouted and about 3 of Walker's ghost police came out only for Penelope send them flying.

"I am going to kick this little worm's ass for lying to me! Besides me and him are already dead Jerry so you don't have to worry about us killing ourselves." Penelope said as she continued to beat the snot out of Bertrand.

"Get the Gender Bender! Get the Gender Bender! Get the Gender Bender!" The audience chanted as Penelope continued to let out her rage.

However within moments the doorbell rang stopping the commotion.

"Oh it looks like we have a surprise guest let's bring them out!" Jerry said with a knowing smile.

Within moments The last person anyone expected to come out did. Walker went right through the door, and proceeded in making out with Penelope.

"You son of a bitch! You will experience pain like you never had before!" Bertrand said as he shape shifted into a giant wasp and went in charging at walker.

However, Bertrand missed walker and instead stung Penelope causing her great pain. Upon seeing this Walker became instantly pissed.

"Causing pain to my woman? That is against the rules!" Walker said in a very annoyed tone.

"Oh Shut up you son of a bitch! You can't fight and you know..." Before Bertrand could finish that sentence Walker punched Bertrand in the face.

Bertrand then changed back into her original female from when Walker proceeded in grab her by the collar. Bertrand's female form was surprisingly attractive. She stood 5 foot 2 and had an hourglass figure. She had full hips, a C cup bosom and Silver hair. Her skin was even more flawless than Paulina's with the exception of a star-shaped scar on her right cheek.

"I don't care if you are a female, you hurt my woman you face the consequences!" Walker said only to get booed by the audience and to get tackled by one of Jerry's old security guards.

"You don't hit a woman! I don't care what she has done to you!" Said a large bald Gentleman.

"Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve!" The audience chanted and he grabbed walker.

"You should be ashamed of yourself calling yourself a law man and hitting women!" Steve explained in a pissed off tone.

"You know if I was a human I would be afraid now, But unlike you I am dead and don't care!" Walker said grinning.

"Security we have no choice pull out the Fenton Thermos." Jerry said as one of the security guard pulled out the thermos and sucked Walker into it.

"Bertrand make your plea if you want Penelope back." Jerry explained.

"Penelope I am sorry about lying to you, but I was afraid this would happen so I kept my secret under wraps. But why were you cheating on me with Walker?" Bertrand asked.

"Back when I thought you were a man, I started think you had a little too much sugar in your tank so I went to find a manly man. But look at yourself, Even though you can be a man, you weren't born on. What is worse is that as a woman you are even more beautiful than me! You know how I feel about being beautiful and I wouldn't be able to deal with dating someone whi is more so than me." Penelope explained.

In the Audience

"I always knew there was something more to Bertrand, But I never guessed this. But then again it does make sense because no matter what I never heard of a man ratting out someone because he wasn't invited." Kitty said remember her girl's night out.

"Was that the day that you, Penelope, and Ember turned Amity into a female only Utopia?" Danny asked remember the conversation.

"Yeah it was, and it was great until your mother, sister, and girlfriend ruined it!" Kitty said in a slightly bitter tone.

Back on stage

Walker was then released from the Fenton thermos for the last part of the segment.

"Now Walker if you try to fight a woman once again I will suck you back up into that device again! While we don't care if you beat each other to within an inch of their afterlife, we won't have you fighting women!" Jerry explained.

"Let him try it again, I will kick his ass!" Steve said as he put on a Specter Deflector and a set of Ghost Gauntlets.

"Now Penelope your relationship with Bertrand is over now right?" Jerry asked.

"Right I can't be with a woman who is more beautiful than me. I would just feel like less of a woman if I did." Penelope explained.

"No matter, Even though I will miss you I know I will find someone better. Hey Steve what about you?" Bertrand asked winking at the bald security guard.

"Sorry I am not interested. Even if I was I am married, and have kids. I won't wreak my family for you. Don't worry though you are a beautiful spirit who will find someone better." Steve said sincerely.

"Now Penelope you will be leaving with Walker correct?" Jerry asked.

"That is correct Jerry." Penelope said still winking at Jerry.

"Walker do you want to be with Penelope." Jerry asked.

"Leaving a beautiful 100 percent woman by herself? That is against the rules." Walker answered in his own way.

"Ok we will be back!" Jerry said as the audience cheered.

Stage out.

So ends part two of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer. As I said before this is a redo of my old version of this with a few changes. If any of you have any ideas for crack pairings post them in your reviews. While the next chapter is set no matter what chapter 4 and beyond won't be. R and R people.


	3. Tucker's secret lover

I don't own Danny Phantom or the cast of Jerry springer. The Jerry springer cast own themselves, and the Danny Phantom characters are doing a life sentence to their owner. Enjoy part 3 of Danny Phantom Meets Jerry springer.

On set of the Jerry Springer show

"Welcome our guests today have some secrets they want to confess please meet Tucker. Tucker has something he would like to tell the love of his life." Jerry said.

"Yeah Jerry, Today I would like to confess that I am in love with the woman I have seen for the past couple of months, and that I want to marry her here on the Jerry Springer show." Tucker said causing the audience to cheer except Danny.

"That is wonderful Tucker, so tell us what is it about her that love?" Jerry asked in his usual tone.

"She loves my favorite food as much as I do if not more. She also never complains when making it. I don't care if she has mood swings and has a daughter, I am going to ask her to marry me today." Tucker said passionately.

"So is that why you are in a tuxedo?" Jerry asked not to surprised.

"Yeah that is right I am going to marry her, and nothing or no one is going to stop me." Tucker said adamantly.

"You come to get married on my show see people, this show has something for everyone!" Jerry said as the crowd began to chant his name.

In the Audience

"Wow your friend is getting planning on proposing to someone. I wonder who it could be." Kitty said in a curious tone.

"I have a feeling that who ever it is, they are a lucky person" Danny replied happy for his best friend.

On Stage

"Let's bring her out here she is everyone" Jerry said as everyone started cheering.

Then the woman came out While most of the audience cheered Danny began to vomit. The woman was a full-figured woman, with Green skin, a lunch room uniform, and yellow rubber gloves. When Danny came up from vomiting, what he saw next made him even sicker. Tucker was now french kissing the Lunch lady passionately. When he was finished the lunch lady took a seat.

"Welcome to the school Lunch lady. By the color of your skin I can tell you are a ghost." Jerry said trying not to sound insulting.

"Yeah that is right. Would you like an Apple dearie?" The lunch lady asked.

"Sure after your segment. But now tell me about your relationship with Tucker." Jerry asked wanting the information she had.

"At first we were bitter enemies, but when I saw his love of meat I knew he couldn't be all bad. Eventually we began to spend time together, and became secret lovers." The lunch lady said in a sweet tone.

"Lunch lady, I wanted to ask you will you marry me, and make my favorite meat meals for me for the rest of my life and afterlife?" Tucker asked hoping she would say yes.

"Yes Tucker I will. I have never met anyone who has love me and meat as much as you!" The lunch lady said sincerely.

"Ok let's bring out our minister." Jerry said as the wedding theme began to play.

The original Jerry Springer minister didn't come out, however, Clockwork the ghost of time came out.

"Where is our minister, and who are you?" Jerry asked surprised to see the ghost of time instead of his minister.

"I am Clockwork master of time. You minister wasn't qualified to wed humans and ghosts together since death has already parted the ghost. I am the only one qualified to do so." Clockwork said in a passive tone. "Ok Tucker do you take the moody yet sweet lunch lady to be your eternal life mate? To love and to hold forever for as long as you exist? Through sickness and through health until existence do you part" Clockwork asked in a passive tone.

"You bet I do!" Tucker said with pride.

"Do you lunch Lady take Tucker to be your eternal life mate? To love and to hold forever as long as you exist? Though sickness, and through health until existence do you part?" Clockwork asked once again in the same passive tone..

"I do." The lunch lady answer smiling.

"If there is anyone who opposes this union speak now or forever hold your peace." Clockwork said only for the doorbell to ring.

"Oh it seems someone opposes this union lets bring them out." Jerry said.

In the audience

"Who would oppose this union? I bet you a date it is someone for your friend Tucker." Kitty said.

"Ok what happened to you and Johnny?" Danny asked surprised Kitty would say something like this.

"After your mother, sister, and Sam sent us back to the ghost zone, we broke up. Now I am single and ready to mingle." Kitty said while winking at Danny.

"Sorry Kitty, but I can't except that date." Danny said declining.

On Stage

When the door opened all the boxes in the studio began to raise and within a second several dissecting knives went flying at Tucker. Tucker would have been hit head on if it wasn't for him activating his intangibility suit to make the knives go right through him.

"How dare you try to married the mother of my child! She is my woman and mine alone!" The box ghost said in an enraged voice.

"Boxy we are over now! we had a child together, but what we had is over! Now have a taste of my fury!" The lunch lady said as she made a giant drumstick appear to swat the box ghost through a wall with great force.

"You see that Jerry, she is perfect in every way. She can not only make meat, but she can beat the box ghost with her meat!" Tucker said not realizing the pun he made.

"I won't let her go to you! Why don't you leave her to me, and get with Technus?" The box ghost said as he began to summon some boxes the throw at Tucker.

"While meat is my favorite thing to eat I am not into the sausage and two potato's filled with cream sauce combo no offense to anyone who is though." Tucker answered striking a nerve with the box ghost.

The box ghost wasn't fat and overweight like he used to be. He was now very muscular and had a tattoo with a heart on his shoulder. However other than that everything else remained the same.

"Clockwork can you please time freeze him until the wedding is done?" Tucker asked hating the fact that a box obsessed idiot is ruining what was suppose to be the happiest day of his life.

"I never failed at a wedding before, so I will do so. Time out!" Clockwork said only for the box ghost to continue moving.

"Nice try clockwork, but as long as I wear this your power is worthless." The Box Ghost said pointing to the time medallion he had on. "Now time for me to beat the living daylights out of that home wreaking teen!" The box ghost explained cracking his knuckles.

"I am not a teen anymore! I am twenty years old! I mean come on I even have as much muscle as you now!" Tucker said annoyed.

"That not all he has, what he can do with his not so little 'muscle' downstairs sent me over the edge even more than you ever could 'tiny'! The lunch lady said sticking out her pinkie to show the box ghost's size.

In the Audience

"Oh my god this is just sick and wrong. That is it, from now on I am never eating meat again." Danny said vomiting again.

"For once Danny I actually agree with you, I bet if Sam were here I bet she would be so happy." Kitty said knowing how Sam try to convince him to not eat meat.

"They there little dude, what did I miss?" Johnny asked floating above the audience.

"Trust me you don't want to know. By the way Johnny you have a segment on the show as well right?" Danny asked the greasy haired biker ghost.

"Yeah I do, but I will let you find out for yourself what it is." Johnny said in a normal tone.

On stage

"I am sorry dude, but you aren't ruining the best day of my life!" Tucker said pulling out a Fenton thermos and sucking the box ghost into it.

"Clockwork dearie please continue." The lunch said in a sweet tone.

"By the powers that are natural and supernatural, I now pronounce you as man and ghost you may kiss the bride." Clockwork said as he teleported off the stage while Tucker and the lunch lady shared making out.

"We will be back!" The Jerry said as the crowd cheered with the exceptions of the two and a half ghosts all vomiting through the floor.

Stage out

So ends part three of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed typing it. I made a few changes and corrected a few errors in this chapter. as stated before if you have a crack pairing you would like to see that doesn't involve the characters I used then post them in reviews. If I use them I will give a shout out to you. R and R.


	4. Youngbloods dirty little secret

I don't own Danny Phantom, Jerry Springer, or any of the character and staff from the shows. They are doing a life sentence to their owners if they aren't real or to themselves if they are. Enjoy Part four of Danny Phantom Meets Jerry Springer.

On the Set of Jerry Springer

"Welcome everyone my guests today stay they have secrets to air out please meet Youngblood. Youngblood has something he wants to tell his girlfriend." Jerry said with in a slightly excited tone.

"Well as you can tell like most of the other guests I am a ghost, and I have a beautiful girlfriend. However I am here to come clean with her, and let her know I have cheated on her with another ghost." Youngblood said in a calm tone.

Danny looked at Youngblood and saw that he was still wearing his cowboy outfit that he was wearing six years ago.

"So I am guessing you were a cowboy when you were alive right?" Jerry asked taking a stab.

"No I was the son of a pirate." Youngblood answered still smiling.

"Ok your girlfriend hasn't heard any of this so lets bring her out here is Dani!" Jerry said in his usual tone.

When Dani came on the stage Johnny's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Danny stood 5 foot 7 inches tall. Her ponytail was still there, but it was halfway down her back. She was no longer flat chests as her bosom was now a large C cup. She still had her hourglass waist, but her hips had developed to the point where they were perfect for birthing kids. All in all Dani was now a knock out.

'Is that the girl Youngblood has been bragging about over the years? She needs to leave a boy for a man.' Johnny thought to himself while thinking of all the thinks he wanted to do to her.

"Hello Dani welcome to the show. I have to ask you what attracted you to Youngblood?" Jerry asked curious.

"The way he pulled pranks when I was younger. He was the best at them, and could and still can always make me laugh." Dani said sincerely.

"I would also like to know how long have you two been dating?" Jerry asked doing his job.

"I been with him for five years, tomorrow will be our six-year anniversary." Dani said getting an aww from the audience.

'I pity that young woman. Since she is going to get her heart-broken as well as not have a six-year anniversary.' Kitty and Steve thought at the same time.

"Ok Youngblood tell her what you want to tell her." Jerry said getting on with the show.

"Dani I had a lot of fun with you when we were younger, but I have to confess I have been cheating on you with someone younger than you." Youngblood said causing Dani to get upset.

"You been cheating on me? With who Youngblood? When I find out who the ***** is I am going to give her a taste of an attack that only me and my cousin have." Dani said with fury.

In the Audience

"Oh no this won't be pretty. Oh it won't be at all." Danny said with worry.

"What is she going to do Danny?" Kitty said while holding onto Danny's arm.

"The only power I have that no one else has is my ghostly wail. If she uses that she will destroy the entire studio." Danny said with concern.

"Danny please protect me from the ghostly wail!" Kitty said latching onto Danny with a tigher grip.

"Maybe when once she dumps Youngblood I can get a shot at her!" Johnny said with hope.

"Johnny you try to get with my cousin and I swear I will give you the same treatment Dani is going to give the woman who is coming out." Danny said scaring Johnny.

"Little dude quit being a cockblock. Just because you aren't dating doesn't mean you can ruin it for others." Johnny said in a scared but sour tone.

On the stage

"Ok lets bring her out here she is!" Jerry said as small blue ghost came out.

She was wearing a pink hat, and had blue suspenders on over a pink shirt. She had gloves and boots that match the box ghosts. Box lunch then came out and Dani was about to use her ghostly wail when she just stopped when she saw her.

"He doesn't want you Dani, He wants someone young like himself. I mean look at you, You have a still growing bosom, hips that can birth children and you reek of ectoplasm downstairs. In other word full-grown woman!" Box lunch said pointing at her.

"I was going to ghostly wail you, but since you are the daughter of the box ghost you aren't even worth it. As for you Youngblood is this true?" Dani asked trying to hold back her tears.

"She is right. I need to be with someone my age, and besides I like dating kids not grown women like yourself." Youngblood explained.

"Then why did you stay with me this long?" Dani asked.

"Your love of trouble. Even though you were growing up you were still a kid at heart. Your pranks that you would pull would make forget about you growing up, but recently you gave that up and became more like your cousin in the audience. So I started seeing box lunch a few months ago." Youngblood said finishing his explanation.

"Dani I am going to kick your ***!" Box lunch said only for Dani to grab her and put her over her knee.

"You are a baby, you don't use foul language especially to a grown woman!" Danny said while spanking Box lunch causing everyone to laugh at her expense.

"They leave my new girlfriend alone!" Youngblood said as he went to charge Dani only to get hit in the face by a ghost gauntlet wearing Steve.

"Kid I don't care if she is older than you, there will be no men hitting women on this show as long as I am in the audience! This is a family show!" Steve said as the crowd chanted his name.

As soon as Dani was done spanking Box lunch, Box lunch got into a fighting stance.

"I don't want to do this Box lunch. If you want him, you can have him. Besides if I fight you, it would be like fighting the box ghost before you were born." Dani said in a very condescending tone.

Dani then left off the stage, and went over to her cousin who was sitting next to Kitty and whispered "Since we are both single now how about we hook up? We aren't really cousins you know." Dani said to her cousin while winking at her cousin.

"Dude she has the hots for you man. If I were you, I would get with that little number." Johnny said only to get kicked in the nuts by Kitty.

"Johnny that is the reason why we will never get back together. Oh and Danny Ditto on what Dani said." Kitty said winking.

"Dani, Please get back on the stage so I can finish this segment." Jerry said in a polite way.

Dani then flow back on the stage. When Jerry was about to end the segment the doorbell rang.

"Oh it seems we have another surprise guest let's bring them out." Jerry said as the Lunch Lady came through the wall.

"You dare to spank my child! Time for you to dine on my Fury!" The lunch lady said with that same fury.

"I wasn't going to use this on Box lunch, but for you I will." Dani said as she took a deep breath and proceeded in using her most powerful attack her ghostly wail. (Insert music used in kindred spirits when Danny ghost wailed)

Danny thinking quickly made a ghost barrier that contained The lunch lady and Dani inside while she wailed. The result of this was the lunch lady getting KTFO while everyone else was safe.

"Remind me to add you to our security staff the next time we have ghosts on our shoe Danny. We will be back!" Jerry said.

Stage out

So end chapter for of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer. The first 4 chapters I put with remakes of the old ones, however the next ones will be requests made in reviews. If I don't get any I will make some new crack pairings of my own. R and R people.


	5. Vlad brings the pain with a twist

I don't own Danny Phantom or and of the characters in this story. They are either doing a life sentence to their original owner or themselves. Enjoy Part five of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer.

On the set of Jerry springer

"Hi welcome to the show. Our guests today say they have secrets to reveal please meet Vlad. Vlad says he has a secret to reveal." Jerry explained in his normal tone.

"Yes I do Jerry. First of all I am a big fan of your show, and I will fund the show so it can go on another five seasons." Vlad said getting praise from the crowd.

"Yay! We love Vlad! We love Vlad! We love Vlad" The audience chanted.

"Thank you Vlad but let's not get off subject what is your secret?" Jerry asked wanting to get to the point.

"I have come to let my second love of my life know that I have cheated on her." Vlad said causing a reaction in the audience.

"Ok let bring her out here she is Pandora!" Jerry said as Pandora came out onto the set.

Pandora normally 30 feet tall came out only one fifth of her actual size. When she came out she went to Vlad and gave him a kiss on the check.

In the Audience

"Wow he is cheating on Pandora? For some reason I almost feel pity for Vlad." Danny said shocking Kitty, and Poindexter.

"You actually feel pity on the guy who almost killed us all?" Kitty said with shock in her voice.

"Pandora is one of my strongest allies, and when she is pissed off she makes the ghost king seem like a kitten." Danny explained.

"Well I got the popcorn, I am so going to enjoy watching that bully get his ass kicked." Poindexter explained with a grin.

"Don't forget about me, I want to see as well." Desiree said floating above Danny.

On Stage

"Hello Pandora welcome to the show. So how long have you been going about with Vlad?" Jerry asked in his business like tone.

"We have been dating for about 3 years. At first I wasn't sure if it would work out with his obsession with my first friend's mother, but he has shown me that he can be true blue." Pandora said with a smile.

"Ok Vlad she seems like a lovely woman, go on tell her why you brought her here." Jerry said.

"Pandora we have gone out for three years, and I have come here to tell you that I have been cheating on you for six months." Vlad said striking a nerve with Pandora.

Upon hearing this Pandora got so angry that a black aura began to appear round her.

"Ok you have cheated on me? Who is she? I am going to kick her ass, then yours!" Pandora said as she slowly grow to her normal size.

"Ok let's bring them out here they are!" Jerry said as the last person anyone expected came out.

In the audience

"What the fuck? I don't believe it Why is Dad... Oh and what is he wearing? That is so wrong on so many levels!" Danny said in a scared tone while vomiting as he watch Jack french kiss Vlad.

"I was expecting Maddie, but Jack? What the fuck?" Desiree said in shock.

"That got me as well. Who knew Jack was butt buddies with Vlad?" Dani said getting clingy to Danny.

On Stage

Jack wasn't in his usual hazmat suit, but a pink tutu with matching slippers.

"Jack welcome to the show. So I am guess that you are gay." Jerry said getting a positive answer from Jack.

"That is right Jerry, I have been married to my wife for the past 20+ years, but I was only married to her so that our kids would have two parents growing up. Now that they are out the nest I am with my true love." Jack explained.

"We may have been allies in the past, but now you have crossed the line Jack Fenton!" Pandora said with fury.

However before Pandora could attack Vlad put up a barrier to block Pandora's Attack. Vlad was about to counter attack when Steve rushed in and threw a strong left to Vlad's Jaw knocking out one of his fangs.

"No attacking women on this show! I don't care if she attacked first!" Steve said with fury!

"Out of my way Wilkos, if someone attacks my love they are going to get a can opened on them! I don't care what gender they are!" Vlad said with fury.

"Well then why don't you take out your aggression on me instead if you think you are such a big man picking on women!" Steve said not backing down.

"As you wish Wilkos." Vlad said as he proceeded to go to work on Steve.

Steve seeing that he would have problems turned on his Specter Deflector just in time to repel Vlad. However, Vlad wasn't out yet as he cloned himself three times and had each of his clones fire a pink energy ray at Steve while circling leaving him weak on his knees.

"That was fun, but now it is time for me to kick your ass Pandora!" Vlad said just as the doorbell rang.

"Oh it seems we have another guest let's bring them out!" Jerry said.

Within moments the door opened, and out came a surprised but anything but livid Maddie.

"If you have been watching Maddie, you now know it is over between us. I can't hide my love of Vlad anymore." Jack explained causing Maddie to nod.

"Well I can see that now, but guess what? I also have a secret. I knew you were cheating on me Jack so I did the same thing." Maddie explained without remorse.

"Ok we got Maddie's partner here lets bring them out!" Jerry said causing the person to come out and start a make out session with Maddie while using their hands to grope her bubble butt.

In the Audience

"Wow I surely did not see that one coming." Poindexter said still munching on popcorn.

"I know who knew Valerie like licking women's kitty cats?" Kitty said not realizing the pun she made.

On stage

"Welcome to the show Valerie. I take it that you are a lebsian correct?" Jerry said only for Valerie to shake their heads.

"We are bisexual. We have no problem dating men, however it they want to date us they are going to be fucking both of us silly until we can't walk straight!" Maddie said while winking toward the audience!

"Yeah we like bisexual's! We like Bisexual's!" The audience chanted.

"Now I need to wrap up this segment. Vlad what you had with Pandora is over correct?" Vlad asked causing him to smile.

"Yes Jerry, why would I want a dried up prune when I can have buns of... AH cheeselogs!" Vlad said as Pandora fried Vlad with a lightning bolt.

"Any real men out in the audience wants a real woman?" Pandora said causing the audience to somewhat cheer.

"Now Jack your relationship with your wife is now over isn't it?" Jerry asked causing Jack to nod.

"I love Jazz and Danny, but any love I once had for Maddie is more dead than Pandora." Jack explained causing Maddie to speak up.

"I can say the same thing as that tub of lard over there. I can't believe he would give me up for someone who is even smaller than himself." Maddie said while using her pinky to describe Vlad's size while hi fiving Pandora for the nice burn.

"Oh and for the boy who saved us, if you want you can share our bed. You are always welcome." Valerie explained causing Danny to blush while Kitty and Dani glared.

"We will be back!" Jerry said closing the segment.

Stage out.

"So ends part 5 of Danny Phantom meet Jerry Springer. This is the first chapter I actually remade completely while adding a requested pairing. If you have any pairings that are crack that you would like to see feel free to post them in your reviews. R and R people.


	6. Poindexter confesses

I... Oh screw it everyone know I don't don't own Danny Phantom or any of the cast from the Jerry Springer show. Enjoy part 6 of Danny Phantom meet's Jerry Springer.

Set of Jerry springer

"Hello our guests today have secrets they need to let out please meet Poindexter. Poindexter has a secret he was to get off his chest.

"Well it isn't a bad secret like the other segments. I just wanted to tell my girlfriend how I fell about her and ask her to marry me." Poindexter said causing the audience to aw.

"Well you come to the right place to get married. So tell me what is your girlfriend like. Jerry said wanting to know.

"Words don't do her justice Jerry. If I had to I would willingly give up my afterlife for her because I love her that much." Poindexter explained with hearts in his eyes.

"Ok let's bring her out here she is!" Jerry said as Poindexter's girlfriend came out. Johnny's jaw dropped when she came out, while Danny just clapped and smiled.

In the Audience

"I can't believe Poindexter actually got her of all ghosts!" Johnny said with his Jaw still hanging.

"Well I am happy for him. Those two deserve some happiness together." Danny said actually happy for them.

"Way to go girlfriend, you finally got yourself a man!" Kitty said happy.

On the stage

"Welcome to the show by the way I didn't catch your name what is it?" Jerry asked looking at Poindexter's girlfriend.

"My name is Desiree and from what I saw earlier I have one question. Who are you cheating on me with Poindexter?" Desiree asked with her eyes glowing assuming the worst.

"No one Desiree. I only asked you here because I had one question to ask you." Poindexter said as he got on one knee.

"Desiree all my life and afterlife I was always bullied and never had the chance to find love. However, when I met you that all changed. Even though I had to use your powers to get a first date since you were so bitter with men I am glad you willingly went on a second date with me. So what I want to ask is Desiree will you marry me?" Poindexter asked in a tone that said love.

Upon hearing this Desiree felt something she hadn't felt in a long time. Tears of joy came out of her eyes. Not wanting to leave Poindexter in suspense Desiree decided to answer his question.

"I never thought I would see the day when I would be asked this. But yes Poindexter, I will marry you now on the show!" Desiree said as she changed her normal harem girl outfit into a black and green wedding dress.

Clockwork then appeared once again on the stage to do his job a minister to ghosts.

"I am here once again to join Poindexter and Desiree in ghostly marriage. Now do you Desiree take Poindexter to be your husband for the rest of your afterlife? To love and to cherish, through sickness and in health while forsaking all others for as long as you shall exist?" Clockwork asked in a normal tone.

"I do." Desiree said with a smile.

"Do you Poindexter take Desiree to be your wife for the rest of your afterlife? To and cherish through sickness and health forsaking all others until after death parts you?" Clock asked once again.

"I do." Poindexter said with the same smile.

However, before clockwork could say anything the doorbell ring causing everyone mood to change.

"Looks like someone is here to either stop the wedding, or watch it let's bring them out." Jerry said as a giant black claw came through the door.

"I will not let this happen! She is my woman! She belongs to me and me alone!" Prince Aragon said in his dragon form.

"I don't think so dragon time out!" Clockwork said only for the prince to continue to move.

"Sorry, but before I came here, I took one of your get out of time free medallions from your realm. Your power of time has no effect on me!" Aragon laughed in a superior tone.

"Now it is time for me to take what is rightfully mine meaning you Desiree!" Aragon laughed as he grabbed Desiree.

"You dare lay a hand on me? No man with the exception of Poindexter may lay a hand on me unless I wish it!" Desiree hissed as she hit Prince Aragon with her sledgehammer fist not holding back anything.

In the audience

"Everything is frozen, but why am I... Oh yeah I forgot to give clockwork this medallion. Oh well since there is no safety staff I better do something." Danny thought as he went on stage.

"Desiree I have two wishes for you to grant. The first is I wish that nothing could break you and your true love apart from each other." Danny said wanting Desiree and Poindexter to be happy.

"So you have wished it so shall it be!" Desiree said as she granted the wish.

"My second I wish that everything would go back to the way it was just before you were going to get married, But when the prince comes through the door he would be in his normal form, and Steve remembered how abusive he was to you. Danny said with a vindictive smile.

"So you have wished it so shall it be!" Desiree said with a smile as she granted Danny wish.

The set of Jerry Springer 10 minutes in the past

"Oh it looks like someone is at the door to either break up the wedding or watch it. Lets bring him out!" Jerry said once again.

The door opened and as soon as the prince came he meet a fierce punch from the ghost gauntlet wearing Steve.

"You don't abuse women you sick disgusting manifestation of ectoplasmic energy and post human consciousness!" Steve said as he proceeded to beat the stuffing out of the prince.

The fight bell rang three times even while Steve continued to wail on Aragon. As this was going on Danny, reappeared with popcorn to watch the fight.

In the audience

"Danny what just happened? he didn't do anything wrong, yet Steve is beating him up as if he committed rape to Desiree." Kitty said.

"If he raped anyone especially Desiree, or Sam I would be up there beating him up myself." Danny said with Kitty giving him a weird look. "Kitty, I hate rapists with a passion. He just better be glad that he didn't commit that crime." Danny said with a bit of fury.

"Who cares what is going on? For once I get to watch someone get wailed on, and it isn't me." Johnny said while munching on popcorn.

No sooner did Danny said this did Clockwork teleported him on stage.

"Actually five hundred years ago he did rape Desiree by using her power to grant the wish." Clockwork said causing Danny eyes to glow.

Within moment the doorbell rung again.

"It appears we have another guest lets bring him out." Jerry said actually surprised to hear this.

"Hey Steve need a hand in beating up this slime? Oh by the way, my mentor the ghost of time told me he raped Desiree in the past." Danny said as he joined Steve in giving the prince a beating of his afterlife while Steve himself took it up a notch.

"So you like abusing woman and raping them? Well I am going to make sure you never rape a woman ever again!" Steve said while going to work on Prince Aragon.

"Ah staff we you need to stop them we can't have them overdo it!" Jerry said worried that Steve and Danny would go too far.

"If they do that I swear I will unleash my ghostly wail on each one of them! Now just end the segment while me and Steve make sure he feels the pain he caused Desiree when he raped her!" Danny with fury.

"You heard Danny we will be back!" Jerry said.

In the audience

"Clockwork why did you tell him that?" Kitty asked while munching on popcorn.

"I knew what would happen if I told Danny that, and even though I knew what it would be like you can't beat live entertainment." Clockwork answered surprisingly in an out of character tone.

"I always thought you were a stick in the mud, but you are alright old man." Johnny said happy for the entertainment.

"Call me old man again, and I will tell him what you did to Kitty." Clockwork said in a passive tone while eating some popcorn.

Stage out.

So ends part six of this story. For everyone thinking I should have given Desiree to Danny instead of Poindexter sorry but I need to have crack pairings for this story and Poindexter is one of the people who I feel would be great with Desiree besides Danny. Besides I have someone in mind of Danny which will be in later chapters. R and R people.


	7. relationship issues with Skulker

I don't own Danny Phantom or any of the characters in this. They are doing a life sentence to their original owners. The staff of the Jerry Springer show are doing a life sentence to their themselves. Enjoy part 7 of Danny Phantom meet's Jerry Springer.

Hi welcome to the show. Our guests today say they have some skeletons in their closet. Please meet Skulker. Skulker today said he is having some relationship issues." Jerry explained.

"That is right Jerry I have been dating my girlfriend of about 3 years, however I came here to tell her I have been cheating on her with someone else." Skulker explained causing a few oh's and a set of eyes to glare a hole in his head even though he didn't know it.

In the Audience

"Danny you need to hold her back because Kitty looks like she wants to go nuclear here." Johnny said looking at the rage Kitty was releasing.

"Let me go I will kill him for what he has done!" Kitty hissed going ballistic.

"You know what? Danny sorry about this but this is the only way she might calm down." Poindexter said as he grabbed Kitty, and placed her on his lap.

"Even if I am here I am still going to kill that Son of a *****! He has no right to do that to…"

On Stage

"Ok everyone let's bring her out, here is Ember!" Jerry said causing a whirlwind of flames to appear and within seconds Ember's being came out of the flames. "Hi Ember welcome to the show. So tell me how long have you and Skulker been dating." Jerry asked in his usual tone.

"Three years Jerry, we have been together for 3 years." Ember said in a tone that suggested something wasn't right.

"You sound a bit unhappy why is that?" Jerry asked with concern.

"Somethings could be better, that is why. But then again that is normal with any relationship you are in." Ember said trying to look on the bright side.

"She seems like a wonderful woman Skulker, go on tell her what you want to tell her." Jerry said causing Skulker to speak up.

"Ember I am going to be blunt. I have been cheating on you for a year, and I came here today to tell you that I am dumping you." Skulker said causing Ember's neon green eyes to glow bright red.

"You don't Dump Ember Mclain! I am the one who does the dumping not you!" Ember hissed causing Skulker to be unfazed.

"Oh get off your high horse Ember! Besides you had this coming! You always mocked me saying I was a horrible hunter, and never appreciating me for me, so I went and found someone who does!" Skulker said causing a sadistic smile to form on Ember's face.

'Oh that is it! you play with an ember, you will get burned.' Ember thought to herself in a vindictive tone.

Ok everyone let's bring him out let meet Skulker lover!" Jerry said causing Skulker's lover to come out.

In the Audience

"Let me go Danny, I will kill them both for what they did to Ember!" Kitty hissed as Danny held onto her while she was squirming to break free of Danny grip while on his lap.

"It isn't that part of the segment yet Kitty. I will let you go when it goes that far. Right now let's just wait." Danny said causing Dani to glare at Kitty.

"Why is she in my seat for?" Dani asked causing Kitty angry expression to become a smirk.

"Poindexter put me here and you know what? I while I am actually still pissed I am happy with this seat." Kitty explained actually smiling.

"But on another note that is just wrong. I always thought that person was interested in me." Desiree said watching the show while munching on popcorn.

On stage

"Welcome to the show. What was it that attracted you to Skulker?" Jerry asked causing Skulker's lover to speak.

"What else? The entire package he has. He is everything I want in a lover. He is more machine than man. I can't believe I was so high-strung on that man hater who dissed me for a nerd!" Technus said just before he started French kissing Skulker.

Upon looking at this Ember body went supernova and an explosion of orange flames rose due to her anger. Lucky for Jerry and everyone else Danny used his intangibility power at the last minute to protect the set and everyone from Ember's anger. Within seconds the fight bell went off, and Ember sent several streams of attacks at the lovers only for Skulker to put a counter shield up which not only blocked her attacks but reflected it back at her with twice the force. Upon seeing this Skulker smiled.

"You see that Jerry? Skulker has it all, and that counter shield he used is one of the greatest uses of technology! Just seeing that happen is making my **** become hard!" Technus explained

"Steve don't even think about it. I never attacked Ember. She tried attacking me, and I defend myself. She got hit with her own attack." Skulker said causing Steve to keep calm.

Ember on the other hand still had her sadistic smile on her face that screamed revenge. Upon doing this Ember spoke up.

"You think he is perfect? Pfft, if his technology was so good as well as hunting skills, why can't he find the TV remote when we were dating?" Ember asked causing the audience to laugh. "I mean seriously he can make a counter shield that repels attacks perfectly, but he can find the TV remote. But that isn't the worst of it. In the bedroom he leaves a lot and I mean a lot to be desired. Even guys with a 1 inch dick has even more than him. The guy has no dick whatsoever." Ember said causing Skulker to glare at her.

"You *****!" Skulker said before turned on a speed boost and went to work on Ember.

Steve at this point was about to interfere when Technus used his powers to trap Steve in a box of technology keeping him from moving.

"No way I am letting you stop this! That ***** had it coming!" Technus said only for the doorbell to ring.

"Oh it seems someone is here let's bring them out!" Jerry said causing a now furious Kitty to make her appearance."

"SKULKER! YOU *** IS MINE!" Kitty hissed as she went in and kicked Skulker in the face knocking his head off.

In the Audience

"Skulker could make a shield that counters Ember's attacks, but he couldn't counter Kitty's simple kick?" Desiree said laughing at the scene.

"He really is a lousy hunter he couldn't avoid that one." Poindexter said while his wife sat on his lap.

"Since Kitty is on stage I am taking Kitty's seat. She moves her feet she loses her seat." Dani said as she took Kitty's seat and sat on Danny's lap.

On stage

Upon seeing this Kitty grabbed the real Skulker, and while Ember who was in pretty bad shape used her fire to melt Skulker's armor into a pile of molten scrap.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just banish your *** right here and now!" Kitty hissed causing Technus to see red.

"You destroyed my lover's technological body! I will make you suffer for that!" Technus said as he brought his powers up only for Kitty to banish him with her banishing kiss causing Steve to be free from his confinement.

One second later Kitty brought Technus back only for Steve to go to work on Technus.

"Steve! Steve! Steve!" The audience chantedwhile Steve beat the stuffing out of both Technus and Skulker causing Ember to smile.

"You know what Mr. No dick? I can't believe I even wasted any of my emotions on you! I know I am a hot, and I can do way better than you! In fact I see better right in front of me." Ember said pointing out in the audience causing everyone to chant.

"Yeah Ember! Ember! Ember! Ember!" The audience chanted causing Ember's flaming hair to rise.

"That is right everyone say my name! just like I will have Baby pop over..."

"Ding dong!" A doorbell went cutting off Ember's thoughts.

"Looks like we have someone else here! Let's bring them out!" Jerry said as Frostbite came out on stage.

In the Audience

"Frostbite is here? But why is he here?" Danny asked astonished just before he got the shock of his life.

"Beats me, but maybe he is here to join in on the battle." Dani said while munching on pop corn.

On stage

Kitty gasped in astonishment while Ember held surprise in her eyes when Frostbite out of impulse started kissing Ember in front of everyone. However, as the kiss went on Ember began to kiss back.

"You no good *****! You have the nerve to get mad at me for cheating, and you were doing the same thing you hypocritical *****!" Skulker screamed only for Frostbite to fire an ice beam at the real Skulker freezing him solid.

"Ember was never cheating on you! I came here the moment I saw what was going on so I could confess my feelings to Ember! I been having these feeling for her for a while but choose not to because she was dating you!" Frostbite explained causing the audience to aww.

"Ok it is nearing the time for me to end the segment. So Ember you and Skulker are over now aren't you?" Jerry asked causing Ember to nod.

"It is done between the two of us Jerry. Besides I got better right beside me, and I have a weak spot for kissing icy lips." Ember said causing Frostbite to smile.

In the Audience

"No way Frostbite actually had the hot's for Ember? We talk about a lot of stuff, and he never mentioned that to me." Danny said in shock.

"I am glad he came out when he did. Cause Ember was looking directly at you when she said she could do better plus like Frostbite you have ice powers. I am guessing she would have confess to you if Frostbite didn't confess first." Dani explained.

"Dude you really can attract them dude. First, Kitty, then Dani, and now Ember? I want some of what you have Danny so I can be a Casanova!" Johnny said without caring who heard.

"Well it is obvious that she had feelings for Frostbite as well. So Danny avoided the bullet on that one." Desiree said while holding her husband close to her.

On stage

"Ok so this is how it is going to be. Technus and Skulker you two are now an item, and what you had with Ember is now over right?" Jerry asked.

"Correct. Unlike Ember Technus likes me for who I am, and doesn't care that I don't have a ****!" Skulker explained.

"Ember are you and Frostbite an item now?" Jerry asked.

"Indeed we are. Now I have the perfect boyfriend and his kissing skills are already off the charts. Plus that rush I get from kissing his icy lips… it is perfect!" Ember said smiling.

"Ok we will be back!" Jerry said in a calm tone.

Stage out

So ends part 7 of Danny Phantom meet Jerry Springer. Part of this idea I have to thank Ghostreader for seeing as part of this was his idea. I am sorry for all those who wanted another outcome but while that pairing is indeed a crack pairing, it has become the most common crack pairing out there. The next segment will be Sam's segment. R and R people.


	8. The truth about Sam believe it!

I don't own Danny Phantom or any of the characters. They are doing a life sentence to their original owners without the chance of parole. The staff of the Jerry Springer show own themselves. Now enjoy the next part of Danny Phantom meet Jerry Springer the remake.

Hi welcome to the show. Our guests today say they have secrets to tell please meet Sam. Sam says she has a secret she needs to let out." Jerry said causing the majority of the audience to wolf whistle at Sam and for good reason.

Sam was no longer the sporty yet overlooked 14-year-old girl but now a more mature and older 20-year-old woman. Sam stood the height of 5 foot 6 and had long flowing hair that went down past her behind. The curves Sam lacked when she was 14 where now there in full storm in the form of a medium C cup bosom, Hourglass waist with a six-pack, and hips that would make a super model jealous. Her attire consisted of a black and purple gothic shirt that stopped above her stomach, a pair of matching pants with a lavender bat belt holding them, and finally a pair of black stiletto heels with bat wings on them.

In the Audience

"Wow when did she become so hot?" Johnny said practically drooling over Sam.

"Keep your dick in your pants Johnny before I have to banish you!" Kitty hissed trying to make Johnny behave.

"Wow she has certainly grown up since I last saw her." Dani said in surprise to seeing Sam's new look.

"I still say she is too skinny! She needs to eat some meat and put some of it on her bones! That is the only way she will become a full figure woman like me!" The Lunch lady said while modeling herself causing a lot of people to gag at this.

Tucker on the other hand not only wolf whistled at this, but grabbed her and put her on his lap enjoying the weight on his lap.

"She has got nothing on you my love! I love a woman with meat on her bones which Sam doesn't have!" Tucker said giving the Lunch lady's butt a firm smack earning a smirk from the older woman.

"Would you like a lap dance with that?" The Lunch lady asked in a sweet tone causing Tucker's grin to grow into a Cheshire smile.

"That is right make that big booty of yours give me a hard on!" Tucker said just before the Lunch lady gave him a lap dance causing Danny, and everyone else to grab the nearest bark bags and vomit in them for seeing that.

On stage

"Hey Jerry, while normally I wouldn't be caught dead on this show, I decided to come here so I could confess to the two people I have fallen in love with today." Sam said causing the audience to aww.

"We have a lot of confessions done our show. So tell me who are you going to confess your feelings to?" Jerry asked causing Sam to smile.

"Here is a clue one of their's name's is something I love having licked by my lover every day." Sam said giving the biggest clue to said person. "The other is the female version of my first crush." Sam continued. "I don't know when I started develop feelings for said beings, but know I live them both so I came here to confess and hopefully make them mine." Sam said causing everyone to cheer.

"Hey Sam, if said people rejects you can I get with you? I will be more than happy to leave my mark all over your **(1) kitty cat**." The guy said causing a certain group of people to gasp.

In the Audience

"Sam has a crush on both Kitty and Dani? That was something I didn't see coming. I thought she still was crushing on you Danny." Johnny said causing Danny to shake his head.

"We are just friends Johnny. We had the talk we should have had years ago, and in the end Sam dating me would feel like she was dating Tucker, and for me it would feel like I was dating Jazz." Danny explained causing Johnny's grin to grow more.

"You know like Sam, and Dani Jazz is pretty hot. If she were my sister and she wanted to nail me, I wouldn't mind if she nailed a time or two or three." Johnny said letting his perverse grin show at the thought causing many looks of displeasure here.

"That is so why we will never get back together Johnny! Your mind is always in the gutter!" Kitty said looking at Johnny with disdain.

"Well you might want to get on stage Kitty and tell Sam how you feel about her confession." Dani said only for Johnny to speak up.

"That goes for you too Dani, in fact here is an idea how about you both get with her and have an orgy on stage?" Johnny said only to dodge a banishing kiss from Kitty.

"Hey watch where you are blowing those kisses Kitty! You almost sent my man to another realm!" The Lunch lady hissed in anger as Dani and Kitty left the audience.

On Stage 2 minutes later

"So does either of them have any idea about how you feel?" Jerry asked causing Sam to shake her head.

"Well the two of them are back stage so they know now! Let's bring the out!" Jerry said just as Kitty and Dani both came out on stage and walked up to Sam.

"Hi welcome to the show Kitty **(2) Neko**, and welcome back Dani. As you both heard Sam has feelings for the both of you. Does this surprise either of you?" Jerry asked.

"To be honest I thought I was going to have to fight you for Danny after Youngblood dumped me, but you having feelings for me? I never saw it coming." Dani said in non negative shock.

"My thoughts exactly. I never saw you falling for me but the question is why us?" Kitty asked wanting answers.

"For you Kitty, of all the ghosts the female ghosts I have ever met in the ghost zone, I find you to be the most attractive. You make your two girlfriends look like wet cats in comparison. Then there is the fact that you can do way better than a guy who can't keep his eyes on his love. So while I know you don't have feelings for me I was hoping that…" Sam never got the chance to finish off her sentence as Kitty decided to put Sam's lips to better use earning a cheer from the audience.

"We love lesbians! We love lesbians! We love Lesbians!" The audience chanted causing Kitty to smile.

"I take it that a yes? Please say it is a yes." Sam said causing Kitty to nod her head.

"After me and my girlfriends made Amity an all women town sometime ago I kind of took a liking to the same sex. While there are a few exceptions to the rule I am mostly into women now myself. However, I will have you know I can be a very demanding girlfriend, but if you are ok with that then I will be glad to be your girlfriend." Kitty said with a smile "Oh and I don't worry I have no problem putting my mark all over your kitty cat." Kitty said in a sultry tone causing the audience to go on fire.

"What about you Dani? How do you feel about Sam confession? Are you going to join in or are you going to…"

Ding dong went a doorbell causing most of the audience to sigh.

"It looks like someone here doesn't approve of this union let's bring them out!" Jerry said just before a torrent of vines came out.

"There is no way I am going to let this happen! Not on my watch! Sam is my queen, and I won't allow her to be with either of you!" Undergrowth hissed causing Sam to glare at the overgrown plant ghost.

"Undergrowth I told you we were over 2 months ago! While I will admit you were great at making my tentacle rape fantasy come true, as well as we having a few things in common that was all we had. There was nothing there for us outside of that, and I wanted a real relationship which at the time you…"

Ding, Ding, Ding! Went the fight bell cutting off Sam while causing undergrowth to capture both Kitty and Dani's in his vines.

"Oh and just to make sure I get no interference from your staff!" Undergrowth said just before several vines took control of all of Jerry's security minds only for his vines to freeze solid.

"Sorry Undergrowth, but there will be no unfair fights on this show." Danny said turning on the cold while adding a bit of ice power to Steve's ghost gauntlets before the bald-headed man delivered several savage ice punches to Undergrowth.

"No my root's noooo!" Undergrowth screamed as he because a frozen solid version of himself due to the cold.

"Now where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? As yes Dani, Sam also has romantic feelings for you as well. I have to ask are you going to join in with the two of them or not?" Jerry asked causing Dani to nod her head.

"While I know my cousin wouldn't do me wrong like Youngblood did, I was always curious about dating a female as well. But I have to ask if I were to get with you Sam does this mean me and Kitty are dating as well?" Dani asked earning a nod as well. "Well while this is a shock for me, why not? I mean you only exist once." Dani said just before stealing a kiss from Sam's lips.

"We will be back, and… oh my god!" Jerry said just before he heard some moans in the audience.

Danny and everyone on stage gasped in shock as they all turned their direction to the source of the moans. At this point everyone who didn't have a barf bag wished they did due to the sight they saw. Danny's eye twitched as well as Sam, Dani, and Kitty's eye as they all watched Tucker getting it on with the Lunch lady.

In the Audience

"**(3) I don't want to see that! No one want's to see that what are you trying to do kill me?**" Johnny said with disgust in his voice.

"Desiree I wish that the two of them were far away from here and wouldn't return until the questions from the audience segment starts!" Poindexter said causing Desiree to smile.

"So you have wished it, so shall it be!" Desiree said causing horny Tucker, and Lunch lady to disappear from the audience.

On the stage

"We will be back!" Jerry said in a very disturbed tone.

Stage out

1 The name of the person Sam was in love with

2 This word in Japanese means cat

3 The line Master shake said when he saw Carl with his pants down taking a crap on Frylock's new air powered toilet.

So end's part 8 of Danny Phantom meet's Jerry Springer the remake. As for everyone requesting remakes of certain segments the answer is yes I will take requests. However, the rules of these requests are no canon pairings every pairing must remain crack. As for those who want to see a pairing with the remaining characters post a pairing and if it works I will make it. R and R people.


	9. Star light, or Star Storm?

I don't own Danny Phantom or any of the characters in this fanfic. They are doing a life time sentence to their owner or to themselves. Enjoy part nine of DP meets Jerry springer the remake.

On the set of Jerry springer

"Hello welcome to the show. My guests today say they have some secrets they need to let out Please meet Star. Star said she a confession to make." Jerry said.

"Jerry I am here today to tell my boyfriend of six years that I am leaving him for someone else." Star explained surprising everyone who heard this.

"Ok before I bring out the person you are cheating with, I have to say you been with this person for six years. What did they do wrong to make you want to throw that away?" Jerry asked.

"Well at first when we got together he was sweet to me and did everything in his power to make me smile. However, even though he is still like that to this day, things got boring between us fast, and he didn't want to try knew things. Like one time I suggested us having a three some with my best friend but he didn't want to do it." Star said causing the audience to have mixed thoughts about this.

"Was your friend a male or a female?" Jerry asked going for more info.

"She is a female." Star answered causing most of the men in the audience to frown.

"Ok I can see why he didn't want to do that. Now let's let bring out who you are cheating with here she is!" Jerry said as the woman Star was cheating with came out.

In the Audience

"Wow I never thought I would see the day that she would go after someone else besides me." Danny said remembering how Danny Phantom obsessed Paulina was.

"I am not surprised that she would change teams either she did come across as a skank to me." Kitty added while sitting on Sam's lap.

"In high school Star may have acted like a jerk to me, but she was very loyal to her friends and those she cared about." Danny explained while coming to Star's defense.

"I was talking about Paulina not Star Danny." Kitty said correcting Danny.

"I would have to agree with her on that one. Even though Star was a snob to us in high school she did stay by Valerie's and Paulina's side as a good friend and I respect her for that." Sam said to herself while valuing friendship.

"That girl was a grade a bully who didn't deserve you anyways." Poindexter said shocking both Danny, and Kitty.

On stage

"Hi Paulina welcome to the show. So how long have you and Star been going out?" Jerry asked in a normal tone.

"We have been dating for a few weeks. I figured since I couldn't get the one I wanted all those years ago I gave up on the male species." Paulina said as she french kissed Star.

"Yeah! We love lesbians! We love lesbians!" The crowd chanted earning a smile from Paulina and Star.

"So Star tell us who are you going to be with Kwan, or Paulina?" Jerry asked.

"I am dumping my boyfriend today. He can't make me happy the way Paulina can. Like I said before he is being a total stick in the mud." Star said dryly.

"Well your boyfriend is watching back stage so he knows now here is Kwan." Jerry said as Kwan came out.

"So you are just going to end it after we been together so long for Paulina? But why Star? I never cheated on you, I always made sure that we were financially stable. I even made sure to keep everything neat and tidy just as you like it. " Kawn explained with a bit of sadness.

"She makes me happy Kwan that is why. To tell you the truth the only reason I ever went out with you back then was because you were way cooler then Tucker Foley, and to be honest if he was still single I would have dumped you for him. I mean sure you were able to give me a stable life, and many of the things I couldn't have before, but I can do that now, and you are just to closed minded for me! I want to have fun and Paulina gives me that and everything else!" Star explained with little remorse.

"Guess what Kwan? (**1) I got your girl and you can't do anything about it, You may think she is coming back to you but... I doubt it. Don't make no sense, you even call her and try to work it out, cause I got your girl and you can't do anything about it.**" Paulina sang in a song like tone instantly pissing off Kwan.

"You stupid skank I will show you what I can do about it!" Kwan said as he charged towards the two girls at full speed.

The security guards seeing this moved quickly and tried to stop Kwan. However, he proved to be too much for them and took them out easily. Kwan continued on the war path and was about to strike Paulina when Steve came in at the last minute and knocked the wind out of him.

"You think these creeps would have learn not to attack women from watching the last few segments, but I see it isn't so." Steve said annoyed while the audience chanted his name.

"I don't care about what your rules with woman! She hurt me, and she is going to pay!" Kwan said as he went to give Star and Paulina some pain only for Steve to block his path.

In the Audience

"I knew that was coming big time though I do feel sorry for Kwan." Danny said while munching on some popcorn.

"I know he was the one being fateful, to find out his girl is cheating on him with another woman. If that isn't bad enough he can't lay a hand on them because of Steve." Kitty added grabbing some of the popcorn.

"Wow I always thought Paulina would grow out of being a bitch but it seems she hasn't even grown up personality wise." Sam said with extreme distaste.

But that doesn't seem to be... Ow that one had to hurt." Danny said as he watched Steve Punch Kwan in the face then kick him in the nuts.

On Stage

"So I take it that your relationship with Kwan is now over." Jerry said.

"Yeah it is. Kwan I hope we can still be friends." Star said without too much remorse.

"You ripped out my heart, chewed it up, spit it out, then stomped it with spiked sporting shoes. Not only that, but because of your cheating which pissed me off, I got punch in the face by a ghost gauntlet wearing Steve. Not to mention getting kicked in my balls! There will never be anything else between us not even friendship!" Kwan said sourly.

"Balls? try cherry pits Kwan, Oh and by the way our first time I was faking it for a while. I had to think of someone else I knew that was hung to get get off." Star said really going in for the kill.

"But Star you never messed around until me who were you thinking about? Cause whoever they are you better not be thinking about them when we are doing it!" Paulina hissed.

We will be... Oh my I was about to end the segment when the door bell rang lets bring them out." Jerry said.

within moments A gust of icy wind came through the door that instantly froze Paulina and Star in a block of ice. Then afterwards Klemper appeared in front of Kwan.

"I helped you now will you be my friend?" Klemper asked Kwan who looked upset only to get punched hard in the face which resulted in a knock out by a ghost gauntlet wearing Steve.

"When you wake up sure I will be your friend." Kwan said to the Knocked out Klemper.

In the Audience

"What the heck I don't believe it! I never thought I would see the day when the friendly fiend would get a friend." Poindexter said with shock in his voice.

"Cough it up you two you lost the bet as you can see Klemper has finally made a friend." Danny said to Poindexter and Kitty.

Frowning Both Poindexter and Kitty paid up the money they owed Danny just as Jerry said the three magic words that would end the segment.

Stage out

1 The chorus of the song I got your man with the replacement of girl in the spots of man.

So ends part 9 of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer. The next segment I have in mind isn't going to be related to this story, but rather one of the redo's some asked me for. As I said in the last chapter if you have any crack pairings you want to see in the second arc of this voice them. Also if you want to see any redo's of segments with other characters voice them as well and I will do so. However, there is one rule besides no canon pairings and that is no requesting I completely destroy a character. R and R people.


	10. Mr Lancer issues

I don't own Danny Phantom or the staff of Jerry Springer. They are doing a life sentence to either their owners or themselves. Enjoy part ten of Danny Phantom meet's Jerry Springer.

On Stage

"Hello welcome to the show. Our guests today have secrets to confess please meet Mr. Lancer. Mr. Lancer says he has a something he wants to confess to his girlfriend." Jerry said in a normal tone.

"That is right Jerry. I have dated this woman for three years, and I must say I am head over heels in love with her. So i decided to come to your show to propose to her." Lancer said with a smile.

In the audience

"Woah Mr. Lancer involved in a relationship? That shocking." Poindexter replied with surprise.

"Hey if you can get married to a wonderful woman such as Desiree, then anything is possible. I wonder who the lucky lady is." Danny commented.

"I bet you it is most likely his briefcase. Some time ago Lancer wished for me to give him someone to talk to. So I did by bringing his briefcase to life. I wouldn't be surprised if he got married to it." Desiree replied in a dry tone.

"Ok that would be Jerry Springer show worthy if not creepy." Kitty added while munching on some popcorn.

"I have to agree with you on that one. Oh and Kitty, when we get home you will be giving my kitty cat some attention." Sam said with a smile.

"Not before you toss my salad Sam." Dani added causing Johnny to spit out his soda.

On stage

"Ok Lets bring her out here she is!" Jerry said as a blond-haired green faced woman came out.

"Hey Dora welcome to the show." Jerry said in a calm tone.

"Hey Jerry I am happy to be here.." Dora said calmly.

"So tell me how is your relationship with Mr. Lancer doing?" Jerry asked.

"It is great. I never had a man like him before. I mean sure he is over 1,500 years younger than me, but his love of old English make him perfect for me. I just hope he isn't here to break my heart!" Dora said with her red eyes glowing.

"Ok Lancer it sounds like you have a wonderful woman tell her what you want to tell her." Jerry said.

"Dora we have been together for 3 wonderful years and I wouldn't dream of breaking your heart. In fact I came here to ask you to be my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life and afterlife with you." Lancer said as he took out ring.

"Yes Lancer I will marry you, but you will have to take up my last name if we do so. Also you must also wear this." Dora said as she gave Lancer a pendent identical to hers.

"Ok Clockwork we are ready for you to do another wedding." Jerry said as clockwork appeared.

"Ok we are gathered here today to join this man and this spirit in supernatural matrimony. Now if anyone here has reason why these two should not be joined speak now or forever hold your peace." Clockwork said.

Before Clockwork could finish the wedding the doorbell rang causing everyone in the audience to smile.

"Oh it seems someone has a reason. Lets bring them out." Jerry said not the least bit surprised.

Within moments the last thing anyone with the exception of Desiree expected appeared on the stage.

In the audience

"What the hell? Is that a suitcase?" A member of the audience asked.

"A suitcase is coming to stop the this event?" Poindexter said still surprised.

"I am not surprised, since I did add a little extra to that suitcase. When I gave it life I gave it emotions, and I made so that it would fall in love with the first thing it's sees." Desiree said remembering the double edged part of the wish she granted.

"So I am guessing that suitcase is going to open up a case of whup ass." Danny said snickering.

"I got the popcorn Danny I know this won't be much of a fight, but I am going to enjoy watching this." Kitty said as she handed the popcorn to Danny.

"Oddly enough I think the suitcase is going to win this fight. Why I think it I don't know, but I actually think so." Johnny said causing everyone to look at him funny.

On stage

"There is no way in hell I am letting this wedding happen! Unless of course I am the one marrying Lancer." The suitcase said as it threw itself into Dora.

"Oh great a walking talking suitcase." Dora frowned only for the suitcase to tackle her.

"Lancer, I thought you cared for me the same as I cared for you." Suitcase said with tears in its eyes.

"I do care for you as a friend, but I don't harbor any romantic feelings for you." Lancer explained.

"Oh I see so it is that hussy over here huh? Well I guess it is time for me to kick some mid evil ghost butt!" Suitcase said only to be crushed by giant hand.

"Stay away from my man you stupid suitcase!" Dora said only to be thrown through a wall by Lancer's jealous briefcase.

In the Audience

"Did I mention that the I also gave the suitcase ghost powers? When I gave the suitcase life I had intended on the two of them being together so I gave it a female form." Desiree explained.

"Who cares? This just make the fight more interesting. But I have my money on Dora." Poindexter said while munching on some of Danny's popcorn.

"My money is still on the briefcase woman." Johnny said drinking his soda.

On Stage

"Ok where is Steve at? In fact where is my security staff? Shouldn't they be breaking this fight up?" Jerry asked surprised the fight was still going on.

"The last fight in the last segment he was hurt very badly. So he won't be here for the rest of the show. As for the rest of the staff, none of them are a match or even want to tango with any of the ghosts on that stage." Todd said frowning.

I guess I am going to have to change to kick your scaly ass." Briefcase woman said as it began to change.

Everyone gasped in shock as the briefcase changed from a brown hand case to familiar looking ghostly female.

"briefcase you look like the woman who brought you to life except your skin is brown and your eyes are blue. However I am sorry, but It doesn't change the way I feel about Dora." Lancer explained.

Before suitcase woman could answer she was hit with green fire. Dora then grabbed her and squeezed her tight.

"I am giving you one chance to walk away. Lancer is mine and that is that!" Dora said in a stern tone.

"I don't think so *****, Lancer is mine!" briefcase woman said as she punched Dora causing her to let go.

As Lancer watched the fight his mood changed to the point where he activated the chain around his neck changing him into a black dragon that looked exactly like Aragon in dragon form.

"This is weird, but enough is enough! briefcase woman stop this now! I love Dora as a woman. You were there for me when I needed someone to talk to, and it was because of you that I was able to ask Dora out." Dragon Lancer said causing briefcase woman to change back to its form.

'I am the one responsible for him getting the courage to ask Dora out? It was me? I wanted him to gain courage sure, but I was hoping he would have asked me out. No matter time for plan B.' Briefcase woman thought to herself.

"Fine then go on and get married to Dora, But I am warning you Dora, you break his heart I swear I will be there to pick up the pieces!" Briefcase explained.

In the Audience

"Ok why did briefcase woman just give up like that?" Danny asked in an astonished tone.

"She hasn't given up. She like Dora has nothing but time. She figures she will give him what he wants, and if Dora slips she will move in." Desiree said as Clockwork went through and finished the wedding.

"That reminds me Danny, do you have a segment on the show?"Sam asked curious.

"Yeah I have one however, my segment being saved for last. But for the sake of the other segments Desiree I wish that the security staff was at 100%." Danny said causing Desiree to frown.

"No one likes a party pooper Danny, but I must obey. So you have wished it so shall it be!" Desiree said causing her magic to go to work.

On Stage

"We will be back!" Jerry said calmly.

Stage out.

So ends chapter 10 of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer. To answer some people's questions Danny's segment will be the last one seeing as I have something special for him. Now the next chapter won't be an actual segment but one of the requested rewrites for a segment that I got. I will be doing 5 of those for this story and the rest will be put into another story. R and R.


	11. extra segment 1

I don't own Danny Phantom or the cast from Jerry Springer. They are doing a life sentence to their original creators or they own themselves. Enjoy part 11 of Danny Phantom meet's Jerry spring.

(AN: This is one of the requested segments and not part of the actual story. Now on with the story.)

Jerry Springer set

"Hi welcome to the show. Today our guests are going to be letting some secrets out please meet Desiree. Desiree says she wants to confess something to someone."

"Hi Jerry, I have dated my boyfriend for the past 6 years, and I need to tell him something important." Desiree said in a cheery tone.

"What is it that you want to tell him?" Jerry said asking his standard question.

In the Audience

"What do you think her secret is?" Johnny asked while munching on some popcorn.

"Maybe she was originally born a man but had magic used on her to change herself into a woman." Sam said while drinking her root beer soda.

"That makes about as much sense as… God will you two stop doing that? You are going to make the audience puke again!" Dani said only for 20 pounds of raw meat to fall on her.

"I can give my boyfriend a lap dance when and wherever I want and if you don't like it you can **(1) hold it!**" The Lunch lady said while her boyfriend let out several moans.

"Who exactly is her boyfriend anyways? Maybe she is going to dump him in front of all these people." Kitty said while feeling Johnny's arms wrap around her.

"I have a clue, but I won't say in fear that I am wrong." Johnny said while kissing his kitten.

"I am willing to bet that the person she is dating would have to be Klemper." Youngblood said causing everyone to gag at the thought. "What? Even if that is the case it couldn't be any worse than that over there!" Youngblood said point at Tucker and the Lunch lady only for him go intangible just before 40 pounds of meat dropped on him.

"Nice try big butt, but you have to do better than that to get me!" Youngblood said sticking out his tongue.

"Let it go because I love me a woman with plenty of junk in the trunk." Tucker said giving the Lunch lady's butt a firm slap much to the dismay of everyone else.

On stage

"I here to tell him I am ready to get married, and I want to do it here on the Jerry Springer show." Desiree said causing the audience to aww.

"Ok let's bring him out!" Jerry said causing the last person anyone expected to come out.

In the Audience

"She is going to get married to Danny Fenton?" Johnny said in a shocked tone while keeping his mouth hanging.

"**(2) Yeah what a lucky girl.**" Kitty said in response while closing her boyfriend's mouth.

"What are you saying Kitten? You still have feelings for the runt?" Johnny asked outraged only for Kitty to glare back at him.

"Please Johnny you had your mouth hanging open the moment you found out that he was dating Desiree so you are in no position to talk!" Kitty countered.

"Well at least I didn't cheat on you like you did me!" Johnny said only for Kitty to get up and with plenty of force sat her butt on Johnny's lap effectively smashing Johnny's manhood causing all who saw it to wince.

"Ouch that had to hurt." Tucker said almost feeling Johnny's pain.

"Serves him right seeing as it was his actions that caused her to cheat." The lunch lady said only for Tucker to wrap his arm around her and French her right there.

After 10 seconds Tucker released her from the kiss to the dismay of everyone else who saw this. However a set of green eyes changed blood-red upon learning the identity of Desiree's boyfriend.

On Stage

Danny came out from behind stage, wrapped his arms around Desiree, and pulled her into a kiss that made him the envy of most. Upon releasing her both parties smiled.

"Hi Danny welcome to the show." Jerry said in his normal tone.

"Hi Jerry, nice to meet you in person. My sister is actually one of your biggest fans. Can I get your autograph for her?" Danny asked in a calm tone.

"After the show. But tell us how long have you been with Desiree."

"6 years Jerry. When we first met we were at a carnival, and due to a girl wanting Cotton candy, Desiree created a sea of it according to her desires. My first idea was to stop her, but something in my brain told me to ask questions first so I did it that way. When I learned something about her I felt bad, and became her friend though I had to keep it secret from my friends. From there one thing lead to another and here we are." Danny explained causing some people to smile while others narrowed their eyes.

"Desiree he seems like a nice guy who thinks the world of you. So tell him why you brought him here." Jerry said.

"Danny I know we been together for 6 years and through this time we had our ups and downs. However, a few days ago I found out you were planning to propose to me, so I brought you here so you could do it here on the Jerry Springer show." Desiree said causing Danny to gasp. "That goes for our wedding as well.

"Lucky bastard! Lucky bastard! Lucky bastard!" The straight/Bisexual males chanted as well as the Homosexual/Bisexual women.

In the Audience

"Damn it all! I was hoping to be my best friend's best man! I mean if it wasn't for me knocking over that bottle and releasing Desiree, he wouldn't be with the love of his life now." Tucker said a bit disappointed.

"I was also hoping to be the maid of honor as well." Sam said causing everyone to look at her funny.

"Sam you of all people I would be the last I expected to want to be a maid of honor in any wedding involving Danny." Dani said finally getting herself out of the meat pile.

"Yeah I kind of expected you to go on stage and try to destroy her for stealing the affections of your first crush." Youngblood added.

"You are right. If this was 6 years ago I would have given Danny a piece of my mind. However, I doubt it would have done any good. Besides if it wasn't for him being clueless I wouldn't be with the love of my life right now." Sam said as a torrent of vines came from under her and her lover appeared with Sam on their lap.

'Sam may not want to do anything, but I do. Oh I got the perfect revenge for both of you.' The green eyed being thought before they left the audience.

On stage

"Desiree, I know there is a massive age gap between the two of us, but age is only a number. The only thing that matters is the love we feel for one another." Danny said as he got down on one knee. "So Desiree will you... Ding dong" A went a door bell.

"Oh it looks like someone is here let's bring them out!" Jerry said just before a musical fist came out hitting Desiree.

"I won't allow this to happen not on my watch! Baby pop is mine!" A pissed off Ember Mclain said with her fist burning.

Ding Ding Ding! When the fight bell, and within seconds a catfight between the rock Diva Ember mclain, and the wishing ghost Desiree erupted on stage.

"You are just jealous that Danny wants me and not you Ember! Why don't you go back to that tin can Skulker!" Desiree hissed as she hit Ember with a sledgehammer first.

Ember was sent flying only for her to disappearing into a whirlwind of flames and reappear using the force of Desiree's punch to deliver a fiery uppercut to Desiree's jaw. Desiree after shaking this off quickly let her blood-red eyes glow brightly and grew until she was 15 feet tall.

"You know the old saying grandma. The bigger they are the harder they fall!" Ember hissed as she sent several shock waves of music at Desiree sending her flying into a wall.

Danny seeing that the security was still melting the conscious but freezing Paulina and Star out decided to end this in his own way.

"Desiree I wish…"

"Don't your dare Danny! Don't you dare Danny! Don't you dare Danny!" The audience chanted as if they knew what Danny was going to wish for.

"Danny the audience has spoken, so let the two of them fight it out. It will boost the ratings of the show, and more importantly regardless of who wins it isn't going to change your mind." Jerry said causing Danny to shake his head.

"My wish was I wish that the audience and everyone else wouldn't be harmed in this catfight!" Danny said causing Desiree to smile.

"So you wished it so shall it be!" Desiree said as she granted Danny's wish, grew 2 more feet, then used her finisher and pinned Ember underneath it.

"God damn it dipstick! I can't break free! I can't go intangible either!" Ember hissed causing Desiree to smile.

"You can't do anything unless I wish it!" Desiree said on for Ember to smile.

"Or I do. I wish that you would change your mind with this, and it could only be reversed if I made the wish!" Ember said as she threw up a familiar green dog that Danny knew instantly.

"No I must obey!" Desiree said with dismay. "You will pay for this Ember!" Desiree said as she and Cujo began to glow and within seconds Desiree's body flew over to Danny and began kissing him.

In the audience

"What the hell just happened? Did Desiree just get turned into a dog?" Dani said causing Penelope to snicker.

"It looks like Ember has gotten her revenge for being outright rejected by Danny." Penelope said shocking everyone except Kitty.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"Ember did confess to Danny about 6 years back, but Danny outright rejected her saying there was something else he cared for. Ember didn't take it well, and would always fight to try and change Danny's mind. However she failed each and every time. Ember was originally going to find Desiree, and have her to a mind transfer with someone else when she learned the truth, but I never expected she would use that dog." Kitty explained.

"That does explain the more brutal and frequent Ember attacks over the past 6 years." Tucker said trying to suppress a moan.

On Stage

Danny now furious with Ember was about to attack her when the now dog brained Desiree pounced on him and started kissing him while rubbing her new body against him in a very affectionate matter. Ember than picked up Desiree and smiled.

"Looks like you can't marry Danny now Desiree. That is unless Danny is into beastiality. Plus since I am the only one who can release you from this you are stuck like this! Payback is a ***** isn't it… ah gross!" Ember hissed as Desiree lifted her leg and began pissing in Ember's face while doing a **(3) Precious snicker**.

Ember disgusted about getting a golden shower in the face dropped Desiree. However, while wiping the salty piss off her face Desiree transformed her new body into its giant bulldog form and within second bit Ember right where the sun done shine.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ember screamed as she jumped up into the air while Desiree still attached to Ember's butt gave another Precious snicker. "Laugh it up Desiree, but know this. Even with all this pain you are giving me I still win. I wanted to make sure the two of you didn't get married, and unless I say I wish it there is nothing you can do. Ciao babies!" Ember said as she vanished into a whirlwind of flames leaving the show and the two brain swapped ghosts behind.

"We will be back!" Jerry said ending the segment.

Stage out.

1 A form of slang from a trade school I went to.

2 What Betty Boop said when Eddie Valiant said she is married to Roger Rabbit in the move who framed Roger Rabbit.

3 A laugh this dog did whenever misfortune feel or was caused by him to the bad guys. Muttley took this laugh from Precious a few years later.

So ends this first extra segment. This request came from Invader Johnny which was for a ghost who wanted revenge against Desiree to make Desiree swap bodies with Cujo and make Cujo extra affectionate towards Danny. I will making 3 more segments like this one which won't tie into the original story going here in the spirit of wacky crack pairings. If you have an idea or request just leave it in your review and remember the pairing must be crack meaning no canon pairings. R and R people.


	12. relationship issues with Skulker remake

I don't own Danny Phantom or any of the characters in this. They are doing a life sentence to their original owners. The staff of the Jerry Springer show are doing a life sentence to their themselves.

(AN: Please note this is not a part of the actual story but a remake of a chapter with a different outcome.)

Now enjoy Remake segment one of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer.

Hi welcome to the show. Our guests today say they have some skeletons in their closet. Please meet Skulker. Skulker today said he is having some relationship issues." Jerry explained.

"That is right Jerry I have been dating my girlfriend of about 3 years, however I came here to tell her I have been cheating on her with someone else." Skulker explained causing a few oh's and a set of eyes to glare a hole in his head even though he didn't know it.

In the Audience

"Danny you need to hold her back because Kitty looks like she wants to go nuclear here." Johnny said looking at the rage Kitty was releasing.

"Let me go I will kill him for what he has done!" Kitty hissed going ballistic.

"You know what? Danny sorry about this but this is the only way she might calm down." Poindexter said as he grabbed Kitty, and placed her on his lap.

"Even if I am here I am still going to kill that Son of a *****! He has no right to do that to…"

On Stage

"Ok everyone let's bring her out, here is Ember!" Jerry said causing a whirlwind of flames to appear and within seconds Ember's being came out of the flames. "Hi Ember welcome to the show. So tell me how long have you and Skulker been dating." Jerry asked in his usual tone.

"Three years Jerry, we have been together for 3 years." Ember said in a tone that suggested something wasn't right.

"You sound a bit unhappy why is that?" Jerry asked with concern.

"Somethings could be better, that is why. But then again that is normal with any relationship you are in." Ember said trying to look on the bright side.

"She seems like a wonderful woman Skulker, go on tell her what you want to tell her." Jerry said causing Skulker to speak up.

"Ember I am going to be blunt. I have been cheating on you for a year, and I came here today to tell you that I am dumping you." Skulker said causing Ember's neon green eyes to glow bright red.

"You don't Dump Ember Mclain! I am the one who does the dumping not you!" Ember hissed causing Skulker to be unfazed.

"Oh get off your high horse Ember! Besides you had this coming! You always mocked me saying I was a horrible hunter, and never appreciating me for me, so I went and found someone who does!" Skulker said causing a sadistic smile to form on Ember's face.

'Oh that is it! you play with an ember, you will get burned.' Ember thought to herself in a vindictive tone.

Ok everyone let's bring him out let meet Skulker lover!" Jerry said causing Skulker's lover to come out.

In the Audience

"Let me go Danny, I will kill them both for what they did to Ember!" Kitty hissed as Danny held onto her while she was squirming to break free of Danny grip while on his lap.

"It isn't that part of the segment yet Kitty. I will let you go when it goes that far. Right now let's just wait." Danny said causing Dani to glare at Kitty.

"Why is she in my seat for?" Dani asked causing Kitty angry expression to become a smirk.

"Poindexter put me here and you know what? I while I am actually still pissed I am happy with this seat." Kitty explained actually smiling.

"But on another note that is just wrong. I always thought that person was interested in me." Desiree said watching the show while munching on popcorn.

On stage

"Welcome to the show. What was it that attracted you to Skulker?" Jerry asked causing Skulker's lover to speak.

"What else? The entire package he has. He is everything I want in a lover. He is more machine than man. I can't believe I was so high-strung on that man hater who dissed me for a nerd!" Technus said just before he started French kissing Skulker.

Upon looking at this Ember body went supernova and an explosion of orange flames rose due to her anger. Lucky for Jerry and everyone else Danny used his intangibility power at the last minute to protect the set and everyone from Ember's anger. Within seconds the fight bell went off, and Ember sent several streams of attacks at the lovers only for Skulker to put a counter shield up which not only blocked her attacks but reflected it back at her with twice the force. Upon seeing this Skulker smiled.

"You see that Jerry? Skulker has it all, and that counter shield he used is one of the greatest uses of technology! Just seeing that happen is making my **** become hard!" Technus explained

"Steve don't even think about it. I never attacked Ember. She tried attacking me, and I defend myself. She got hit with her own attack." Skulker said causing Steve to keep calm.

Ember on the other hand still had her sadistic smile on her face that screamed revenge. Upon doing this Ember spoke up.

"You think he is perfect? Pfft, if his technology was so good as well as hunting skills, why can't he find the TV remote when we were dating?" Ember asked causing the audience to laugh. "I mean seriously he can make a counter shield that repels attacks perfectly, but he can find the TV remote. But that isn't the worst of it. In the bedroom he leaves a lot and I mean a lot to be desired. Even guys with a 1 inch dick has even more than him. The guy has no dick whatsoever." Ember said causing Skulker to glare at her.

"You *****!" Skulker said before turned on a speed boost and went to work on Ember.

Steve at this point was about to interfere when Technus used his powers to trap Steve in a box of technology keeping him from moving.

"No way I am letting you stop this! That ***** had it coming!" Technus said only for the doorbell to ring.

"Oh it seems someone is here let's bring them out!" Jerry said causing a now furious Kitty to make her appearance."

"SKULKER! YOU *** IS MINE!" Kitty hissed as she went in and kicked Skulker in the face knocking his head off.

In the Audience

"Skulker could make a shield that counters Ember's attacks, but he couldn't counter Kitty's simple kick?" Desiree said laughing at the scene.

"He really is a lousy hunter he couldn't avoid that one." Poindexter said while his wife sat on his lap.

"Since Kitty is on stage I am taking Kitty's seat. She moves her feet she loses her seat." Dani said as she took Kitty's seat and sat on Danny's lap.

"Dani, what are you doing?" Danny asked before he let out a moan.

"I am giving you a lap dance what else? Besides I need to make sure I can turn you on with my tactics." Dani explained only for Desiree to smile.

"Poindexter honey you don't mind if I teach her a few of my tricks do you?" Desiree said now interested.

"Go ahead dear. Danny, you should consider what you are going to get from my wife a blessing. As for you Dani watch carefully as you will learn a lot from my wife." Poindexter said as Desiree changed her talk into a pair of legs, placed her more than Ample ass on Danny's lap, and began giving him a lap dance for Dani and everyone else around to see.

On stage

Upon seeing this Kitty grabbed the real Skulker, and while Ember who was in pretty bad shape used her fire to melt Skulker's armor into a pile of molten scrap.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just banish your *** right here and now!" Kitty hissed causing Technus to see red.

"You destroyed my lover's technological body! I will make you suffer for that!" Technus said as he brought his powers up only for Kitty to banish him with her banishing kiss causing Steve to be free from his confinement.

One second later Kitty brought Technus back only for Steve to go to work on Technus.

"Steve! Steve! Steve!" The audience chantedwhile Steve beat the stuffing out of both Technus and Skulker causing Ember to smile.

"You know what Mr. No dick? I can't believe I even wasted any of my emotions on you! I know I am a hot, and I can do way better than you! In fact I see better right in front of me." Ember said pointing out in the audience causing everyone to chant.

"Yeah Ember! Ember! Ember! Ember!" The audience chanted causing Ember's flaming hair to rise.

"That is right everyone say my name! just like I will have Baby pop over..."

"Ding dong!" A doorbell went cutting off Ember's thoughts.

"Looks like we have someone else here! Let's bring them out!" Jerry said as the last person anyone would expect came out on stage.

The moment said person came out the first thing they did was wrap their arms around Ember then began a one sided make out session with her. Without wasting a thought said person began to slip their tongue in Ember's mouth while moving their arms down to grope her butt. The shock of said actions wore off very quickly, and Ember decided to mirror said persons actions and placed her hands on her kissers ample ass while her ponytail rose 20 feet in the air from said kiss.

In the Audience

"What the... oh god... heck? Why is she... oh man that feels good... up there? Oh god I never knew... Poindexter you are a lucky bastard... that was possible!" Danny said failing to suppress to moans of pleasure due to Desiree's lap dance.

"Beats me, but maybe she is here to join in on the battle." Dani said while munching on pop corn. "Desiree that is enough! I learned enough tricks from you and you are married to Poindexter! If I didn't know any better I would say you were trying to steal Danny for yourself!" Dani hissed causing Desiree to smirk.

"I was a harem girl before I died, and while I was alive I learned a ton of tricks to bring a man to his knees. But seriously if I was that kind of woman, I could have stolen Danny a long time ago." Desiree said with a sexy smirk on her face.

"Honey, could I get some of that pleasure?" Poindexter said trying to get his wife back.

"No because I got something far better than a lap dance for you darling." Desiree said winking while rubbing her husband's crotch.

On stage

Kitty gasped in astonishment while Ember held surprise in her eyes when Jazz out of impulse started kissing Ember in front of everyone. However, as the kiss went on Ember began to kiss back.

"You no good *****! You have the nerve to get mad at me for cheating, and you were doing the same thing you hypocritical *****!" Skulker screamed only for Jazz to fire an ectoranium beam at the real Skulker causing him severe pain.

"Ember was never cheating on you! I came here the moment I saw what was going on so I could confess my feelings to Ember! I been having these feeling for her for a while but choose not to because she was dating you!" Jazz explained causing the audience to aww.

"Ok it is nearing the time for me to end the segment. So Ember you and Skulker are over now aren't you?" Jerry asked causing Ember to nod.

"It is done between the two of us Jerry. Besides I got better right beside me, and while I do like Baby pop's sister." Ember said causing Jazz to smile.

In the Audience

"No way Jazz actually had the hot's for Ember? We talk about a lot of stuff, and she never mentioned that to me." Danny said in shock while on the break of creaming his pants.

"I am glad she came out when he did. Cause Ember was looking directly at you when she said she could do better plus like Jazz always did seen to catch me as a swinger. I am guessing she would have confess to you if Jazz didn't confess first." Dani explained.

"Dude you really can attract them dude. First, Kitty, then Dani, and now Ember? I want some of what you have Danny so I can be a Casanova!" Johnny said without caring who heard.

"Well it is obvious that she had feelings for Jazz as well. So Danny avoided the bullet on that one." Desiree said while pushing Danny to the near break before getting off his lap. "Sorry Danny, but I can't go any further. Hope you don't mind blue balls." Desiree said earning a glare from Danny while almost everyone else laughed at him.

"Desiree that was cruel and unusual punishment. Why would you do something like that?" Poindexter asked just before Desiree sat on Poindexter's lap and began giving him a lap dance.

"While I am happily married I am still the most vindictive ghost in the ghost zone. Consider that my revenge for all the problems you caused me in the past!" Desiree said causing Danny to smile.

"Normally I am against revenge, but I got the perfect punishment for you Desiree. I wish that for the next 1,000 years whenever you do anything sexual you would suffer from blue bean!" Danny said with an evil tone causing Desiree and Dani to gasp.

"No I must obey! You will pay for this Danny!" Desiree said as she began to glow purple.

On stage

"Ok so this is how it is going to be. Technus and Skulker you two are now an item, and what you had with Ember is now over right?" Jerry asked.

"Correct. Unlike Ember Technus likes me for who I am, and doesn't care that I don't have a ****!" Skulker explained.

"Ember are you and Jazz an item now?" Jerry asked.

"Indeed we are. Now I have the perfect girlfriend and her kissing skills are already off the charts. Plus that rush I get from kissing her watermelon flavored lips… it is perfect!" Ember said smiling.

"Ok we will be back!" Jerry said in a calm tone.

Stage out

So ends the first remake of one of the original segments. This one goes out to Jim89 who suggested to me to pair Ember up with Jazz. Also for the reader knowledge this chapter had one of 3 outcomes. It was either going to be Danny/Ember, Jazz/Ember, or Danny/Jazz/Ember. Now if anyone has a chapter they want to see remade along with ideas for extra segments (Extra segments, and remakes are two different things) Post them in your reviews. As I stated before the only rule is that they are crack pairings. The next chapter will be an actual segment to the original story which has 4 more segments before the questions from the audience part. R and R people.


	13. Damon vs Freakshow

I don't own Danny Phantom, or any of the cast from Jerry Springer. They are doing a life sentence to their original owners, and in the Jerry Springer cast case they own themselves. Enjoy part 11 of Danny Phantom Meet's Jerry Springer.

(AN: This is an actual segment to the original story's story line.)

On the set of Jerry Springer

"Hi welcome to the show. Our guests today say they have some secrets to reveal. Please meet Damon. Damon says he has something to tell someone who is really important." Jerry said giving Damon the floor.

"Hi Jerry I came here today to confess my feelings to my first love. Back when I were in high school we used to be like peanut butter and Jerry. However, 20 years ago she was killed in an accident." Damon explained.

"So your first love is a ghost I take it?"

"Yes she is, and it wasn't until recently that I learned she was still in existence. Hopefully today I will make her mine." Damon explained.

In the audience

"No way daddy's first is now a ghost and he is going to confess to her? Not if I can…"

"Take a chill pill Valerie. I know you don't like ghosts, but you accept my son and he is half ghost, and you accept Dani who is also half ghost. Besides if you father accepts you and me being together we should accept his choice of a lover." Maddie said sitting on Valerie's lap.

"Wow I never thought I would hear those words come out of your mouth mom." Danny said sitting next to the two lovers.

"I wonder who Damon's lover is? We can eliminate Desiree, Kitty, Ember, Penelope, Dora, and Pandora from this list. Maybe it is a ghost we haven't seen before." Dani said while caressing Sam's cheek.

On stage

"Ok Damon, can you tell me about her or at least what you remember about her?" Jerry asked.

"Well she was 5 years my senior, and she used to run this tattoo parlor that I used to hang out at. She gave me a few free ones because she liked me. Heck even though I haven't done any in a while I can still do some myself." Damon said causing some people in the audience to get a clue.

"Well guess what? She is backstage so she knows how you feel so let's bring her out." Jerry said as a green cyclone appeared on stage in various shapes and creatures.

Within seconds the cyclone vanished and the creatures placed themselves back on the ghost's body.

In the Audience

"I know her, that is Lydia Freakshow's old partner in crime." Danny said out loud.

"Chill out little dude, Lydia is the best tattoo expert in the ghost zone, and really cool. As long as you don't get on her bad side that is." Johnny said in a calm tone.

"Too late I kind of sometime ago though I doubt anyone but Sam would remember it." Danny explained just before Lydia turned to Jerry.

On stage

"Hi welcome to the show. If I remember correctly you have a pink panther complex don't you?" Jerry said getting a nod out of Lydia before she took a look at Damon.

Upon seeing him Lydia ran over to him, and pulled him into a tight hug before proceeding to make out with him in front of everyone.

"I take it you know him don't you Lydia?" Jerry asked getting a nod for the tattooed woman.

"He was the first person that liked me for me when I was alive." Lydia said causing everyone who knew her to gasp in shock.

In the Audience

"Holy shit! Lydia isn't mute? By why is she talking now of all times? We could never get a word out of her even when we were partners." Johnny said in shock.

"Well I remember I got a scream out of her sometime ago when we last fought but that was it. Not even Freakshow could get her talking." Danny said remembering his fight with the duo.

"Well I do remember Damon hanging out with a punk/Gothic girl after school sometime ago who did tattoo's. I also remember before he met your mother he was totally into the punk/Gothic thing just like Sam. When he lost her he gave it up and went norm." Maddie explained while she felt Valerie grope her butt earning a blush from Maddie.

"Next to your personality your bubble ass is my favorite part about you lover." Valerie said with a smile.

"Valerie I am right next to you? Are you trying to make me hurl?" Danny asked only for Valerie to caress his face.

"While your mother is my second crush, you will always be my first. So while I love her me and Maddie have no problem letting you in Danny." Valerie said while winking at Danny.

"Mom you aren't seriously going along with this are you?" Danny asked hoping Maddie would still hold rational thought.

"You only live once Danny. For all you know you might like the taste of the dark and forbidden fruits." Valerie went on.

"You know Danny before a little while ago I had never been with a woman before. At first I was worried, but after I did it once I found that I liked it. To be honest with you this isn't a hurdle I would normally jump. However, since we share lovers, and this would make my lover happy I am willing to compromise." Maddie answered causing Danny to become even paler than normal.

'Great now I have my mother trying to get into my pants.' Danny thought to himself not liking the idea one bit.

On stage

"Well Damon, you wanted to talk with Lydia about something and here she is. So tell her." Jerry said causing Damon to take a deep breath.

"Lydia, I have known you for the past 20 years, and even though you are dead my heart still beats for you. Even when I was with Valerie's mother she could never replace you in my heart. So I wanted to know Lydia will you be my…" Damon never got the chance to finish his sentence when Lydia wrapped her arms around Damon and began making out with him.

The kiss lasted for about 10 second before Lydia released him.

"Yes Damon a million times yes. Nothing would make me happier." Lydia said only for a doorbell to ring.

"Oh it seems someone is here. Let's bring them out!" Jerry said just before a pale skinned man came out wearing dark gothic outfit.

"Lydia what are you doing? Why are you kissing this norm?" Freakshow asked not liking what he was seeing only for Lydia to slap him.

"You lied to me you bastard! You told me that Damon didn't love me anymore when he moved on with that other woman!" Lydia hissed causing Freakshow to gasp.

"Why are you talking Lydia? I thought you were mute." Freakshow said in surprise.

"I only went mute because I thought Damon didn't care for me anymore! That day I vowed I would never talk again until Damon came back to me or I found true love with another! Damon still cares for me, and I want nothing to do with you! We are over!" Lydia hissed causing Freakshow's eyes to narrow.

"You are dumping me for this norm? Well we will see about that!" Freakshow said just before he pulled out the a familiar specter which in turn took control of every ghost within the studio.

Within seconds, Danny, Kitty, Johnny, Sam, Desiree, Poindexter, Dani, rose from their seats and flew towards the stage. Danny's hands began charged with blue ice energy while Johnny's shadow sprang to life. Poindexter summoned a cluster of school supplies, while Desiree's hands changed into sledgehammers. Dani and Kitty's hands began to glow their respective colors showing they were charged and ready for battle. Last but not least Sam transformed into her second form and had her vines come from out of her back ready to strike.

In the audience

"Oh no it is that Specter that Freakshow used to take control of ghosts sometime ago. Seeing as they are all under his spell we better go help your dad!" Maddie said with worry.

On stage

"Any last words before I remove you from the equation Damon?" Freakshow asked causing the middle aged man to gulp in fear.

"7 superpowered being against 1 normal human is extremely unfair odds! So I think I will even them some!" Steve said as he and the rest of his security went up on stage to balance the odds.

Upon seeing this Freakshow snapped his fingers causing Danny to fire an ice beam at Steve's and the rest of the staff's feet freezing them into place. Kitty then blew several kisses at the immobilized staff hitting them dead on. Within seconds Steve and the rest of his staff vanished from the studio leaving Freakshow smiling.

"As you can see resistance is futile. Now Lydia you have two choices. You can either forget about that norm and come back to me, or you can watch as my new minions rip him apart piece by piece." Freakshow said licking his lips.

"This isn't good, we have no female security meaning that cyan skinned ghost could just banish any more security we send up there. Plus even if that isn't the case none of them have ghost hunting gear." Jerry said causing Freakshow to laugh.

"As you can see Damon I hold all the cards. But just for a little added insurance, Desiree, I wish that Kitty's kiss could also banish women!" Freakshow said causing Desiree's powers to active.

Within seconds Both Kitty and Desiree began to glow, and within seconds Desiree grow a few inches in size while Kitty's power got a buff. However upon seeing this Lydia smiled and flew over to Damon.

"If you want him you are going to have to go through me. Plus since you buffed Kitty's kiss if she blows one I will grab Damon and have her banish us both!" Lydia said causing Damon to gasp.

"Lydia go now I can't stand the thought of losing you!" Damon said only for laser fire to wiz pass them and hit Kitty.

"Don't worry dad me and my lover got your back!" Valerie said in her Technus 2.0 hunter outfit with her guns blazing.

"I will make you pay for what you did to my son you freak!" Maddie hissed with her weapons blazing causing Freakshow to laugh once again.

"You may have taken out Kitty, but you aren't out of the woods yet! Minions destroy them but don't harm Lydia!" Freakshow said causing everyone to attack them.

Sam sent a barrage of killer plants at Valerie and Maddie while Johnny had his Shadow attack. Danny, Dani, and Poindexter launched their respective attacks at the two hunters, and Desiree sent her sledgehammer fists at the two. Maddie and Valerie dodged Sam's killer plants,as well as the beams of energy being blasted at her. Maddie however was nailed with Desiree's sledgehammer fists which sent her flying into Johnny's shadow. Lydia seeing how this would end decided to give up her former lover's weakness.

"Valerie you need to get rid of his ghost staff! Destroy it and the spell will be… AHHHHHH!" Lydia screamed as she felt her will being stripped away before she went back to Freakshow's side.

"You know the saying loose lips sink ships? Well Lydia, for your betrayal I have something special for you. Minions take care of those two women! Lydia you will destroy Damon by your own hand!" Freakshow said in a cruel tone causing everyone to gasp.

"Sorry Freakshow but you forgot one thing. With all the ghosts you took over you made a big mistake. I wish that you would throw your staff on the ground and break it!" Maddie said causing Desiree's magic to activate.

"No I can't control my body! But how is this possible? She is under my control!" Freakshow screamed while failing to fight his own body.

"Desiree might be your mind slave, but her powers seeing as she has no control over them can be used by anyone mind controlled or not!" Maddie explained as she and Valerie watched as Freakshow's body reluctantly threw the staff on the ground and smashed it into several pieces.

Within seconds every's red eyes glowed then went back to their normal colors with the exceptions of Desiree and Kitty who already had red eyes. It was at this moment that Danny, and the others turned and set their eyes on Freakshow. However, before Danny could do anything Lydia let out a cruel smile. At this point she summoned her tattoo's and had them all ensnare Freakshow while pulling down his pants. Within seconds the entire audience was in shock.

"Now I see why they call him Freakshow. That 16 inch dick of his would more than calls for him to be called a Freak!" One of the women said in the audience.

"I may be evil but next to my charm and wits that right there is my selling point." Freakshow said with pride.

"Sorry ladies, but Freakshow is about to become a freak for another reason. After what you did I am going to…"

"Lydia this is a family show. Only the most tasteful things can be aired, and doing that to Freakshow would be crossing a line. Besides Kitty needd to bring back Steve and the rest of my security. Let them deal with him." Jerry said causing Kitty to reverse the effect bringing back the security staff.

Freakshow gulped as he watched Steve and the rest of the staff crack there knuckles before Steve put on the ghost gauntlets while slamming them together.

"Freakshow, I think it is time for you to learn why you shouldn't use mind control to get what you want." Steve said as he grabbed Freakshow and dragged him backstage with his pants still down while the rest of the security staff followed.

The camera crew followed him and for the next 20 minutes the audience was treated to a very painful beating from Steve and the rest of the staff. While this was going on Jerry went back to his job.

"Ok Lydia I take it what you had with Freakshow is now over." Jerry said getting a nod from Lydia. "I also take it that you and Damon will be together now." Jerry asked causing Lydia to nod.

"On one condition. I want the old Damon I loved back. While I still love you now, I want to see the man I love the way I loved him." Lydia explained before Damon placed his around her hourglass waist.

"For you my love anything." Damon said before pulling Lydia into a kiss.

"We will be back!"

Stage out

So ends part 11 of Danny Phantom meets Jerry Springer. 3 more regular segments to go before the questions from the audience. This one was a random pairing I thought off with the few remaining characters. Also for those who want to know when Danny goes his segment will be the last one. Also as I said before if you want to see a certain segment remade, or want to see an alternate pairing than post them in your reviews. Normally I would do a Friday update, however I will be busy this Friday, so I am updating early. R and R.


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